Yours truly is a very troubled man these days... Reason being I don't get poetry. Also because my A/L's are less than two months away, but mostly because I don't get poetry. :)
Let's sample a few verses and see what they mean to the layman. I dug up a collection of poems recently. This goes out to all the people in the world who feel poetry is retarded. Yes, all four of them!
1)"The Farewell"
I picked this fragile sprig of heather
Autumn has died long since remember
Never again shall we see one another
Odor of time sprig of heather
And remember I await our life together
From the title, I gather that it's something the poet would write to someone he is bidding goodbye to. All's well upto now. Then we see that he has picked a sprig of heather, which happens to be, fragile! Okay, fine. Some rambling before he gets to the point I guess. Then we see the autumn line. What the hell? Who cares what season it is? Or is it symbolically autumn in his relationship with whoever he's writing to?, whatever that means. Then, we finally see some sense, in the third line. Only to be shattered again by the last line, which says "await our life together". Poets are a confused bunch. No wonder the gal's leaving him.
2) "The Elephant"
As an elephant carries ivory
I bear in my mouth a precious gift
O purple death! ... I buy my fame
At the expense of pretty words
Now this thing creates some doubts in the mind of any reader. He carries in his mouth a precious gift, "As an elephant carries ivory". Does that mean elephants have ivory in their mouths? :s Or just that he's got something sticking out his mouth like vampire teeth? And then, as if to confirm his retardedation, he goes on about some purple death, which i assume is some form of mutated black death.
3) "Chapeau Tombeau"
He spreads his smut
In America
This little or-
nithological butt
But
Enough of this
I'll take a piss
Do I have to point out what lead me to think all poets are just reatards in disguise? Ornithological butt?
4) "How the Bird Singing"
How the bird singing
In the green poplar's peak of light
up to the gay sun of bright afternoon
splits my soul pleasantly in two-
and what musical blood pours out!
from the unturning zenith
down to the unchanging earth!
Birds singing! How bad could that be eh? So, there's a poplar, which I've gathered is popular with poets. Sneaky. So on this poplar, under a homosexual sun, a bird sits. But alas! This is no ordinary bird! It appears to eat the souls of the living by cutting them in half. But, typical of a poet, he praises the devil-bird's actions and finds it pleasurable. He likes it when the "musical" blood pours out. Sicko.
Poetry should be treated with the same attitude as animal porn :p , and there should be regular raids on poet gathering places, such as poplars, drainage pipes and around the childrens play area in the park, looking for narcotics. I have no idea how I got through english lit in school...
***********************************
And now, please don't flame me if you read, write or like poetry. I was merely speaking in jest. No offense to anyone, except the bastard who wrote of the evil bird. He deserves to be tied to a stake and burned along with the rest of his coven. :)
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
The untitled post!
…………………..
More and more it seems like there is absolutely nothing to write about here. Oh, and all you morons who are shouting “Then Don’t!” can go hump a sofa.
Life is just too uneventful these days. Sure, I hear people say stupid things, things that strike you with the same effect as one day wandering into your garage and finding your parents are spandex clad superheroes, just about to depart on a mission. And yet I can find nothing of substance to write in here. And the fact that my classmates now find it amusing to occasionally visit here and remind me of all I’ve written doesn’t help either. Anyone still anonymous and considering going public, stay the hell away! It’s just not worth it. Anything of real meaning will have to wait till after I’m through with the whole school thing. People might say “Life’s short, you might get hit by a bus tomorrow, so live like there’s no tomorrow”. Screw that*. Life’s long, and even on the off chance I do get hit by a bus, the knowledge that a riotous mob would burn said bus and its driver is enough for me to be happy for the rest of eternity. Imagine, leaving the earth in a blazing inferno!
So here I go with an empty mind…
“ It was a dark and stormy evening. I stepped off the bus as it was splashing its way down to a fraction of its top speed. I scurry into the shelter of the bus stop, where there were people, people waiting for buses, or just escaping the pouring rain. The rain, the tropical rain which drips liquid ice all over its temporary territories was hammering down particularly hard that day. I turn my attention back to the people inside the bus stop. One of them in particular, caught my eye. He was standing in a shadowy corner, and was… glowing, literally. It looked as if he was on his way to a sign-makers’ to get himself bent into a notice saying “vacancy”. Coolio. I sidle up to him, and I noticed he was…
At this moment my jeans pocket starts vibrating. ”
Damn it! Just when I manage to make things interesting for myself… “Where are you and why are you late?” I reply with my location and ask whether she does not notice the rain which threatens to melt the entire country with its constant splattering. “What rain? You’re imagining things again”. Fine, there was no rain. “Just come home and take your medication will you? We’ll make the rain go away together”. And she wonders where I got my sarcasm from…
I realize I just wrote an entire post about nothing in particular. I could just use the excuse about signs of aging if I wasn’t just 18. Maybe some sort of early-life crisis?
*Anyone seen that movie starring Chris Rock? The thing in which he’s a regular married man? Anyway, that line’s derived from that movie. Don’t flame me with “You stole that whole thing from a movie you asshole!!!”
This means you too Kiran!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Ten things vs. Regular Post
Funny thing is, I already typed up another post thinking this was the same "Seven random things about you" chain which I dead ended last year, with three extra things. I just found out that it's "Ten things that make me feel happy".
Anyway,
1) Technology -
Although the past week has been a black one for most stuff around me. First my phone memory card goes bust, and then the one I buy to replace it turns out to be slightly incompatible, so I have to wait another week till they get a different brand down. Then I break the glass turntable in the microwave. Then my monitor stops working, so I’m stuck with a crummy 15-inch. Thoughts of sabotage entered my mind when the bus I was traveling in broke down in the middle of the road today.
2) Music -
I just ripped "The Flying Carpet". No, it's not the Aladdin soundtrack. Nice, relaxing music. Although I do push in the occasional Alter Bridge. Something unpleasant happened this last week in music. I copied off all the new music on my brother's mp3 player like I usually do, and was assailed by the likes of S Club 7 and NSync. Apparently, he had autofilled it with random tracks from his office.
3) Weird stuff, like have you ever noticed that you can’t lick your elbows?
4) Laughing -
Most recently, at the audience on the Tyra Show. Those people have been dragged over from a telemarketing show methinks. And considering that everyone who appears on the Tyra Show is either terribly maimed or nutty as a fruitcake, or both if you count Tyra, they appear to be what is scientifically called "Tasteless Bovines"
5) Messed up situations -
I was about 8 years old. And I was at a funeral. We were all gathered round the grave, some fifty-odd people. My cousin(6) and I were way at the back. Suddenly, he grabs my sleeve and points. I turn to see a skull, dug up by some dog and just showing out of the ground. We both start shouting “A skull! A skull!” not in panic, but out of sheer excitement. You can imagine what sort of reaction this caused in the adults. Each of them spun round and stared at us as if we had just murdered the poor guy. Two kids shouting out in joy about a dead guy’s bones is not something you particularly like to hear if your husband’s just passed away. Needless to say, our parents came and dragged us away, apologizing profusely for our “misconduct”.
6) Reading stuff -
But I already mentioned this in the earlier post.
7) Taking pictures of stuff -
I'm not sure if I'm qualified to call myself an "Amateur Photographer". I used to make money off it when I was in the school club, but now it's just regular random pictures of whatever is interesting. But by far the worst part is when relatives ask you to take pictures of various social events. Sometimes, that would be fine, but not when there's another professional guy there, jumping about like spider-man. Photographers are very much like lions. Not in that we pee on rocks, but that we're very territorial. If I walk into another guys turf, he will take me down, either by making my pictures look bad or resorting to the deadliest attack - laughing at my camera. Between his evil looks and the comments of relatives to the tune of "*giggle", "Ohh look who's taking pictures", and "Make sure you focus right this time" you sort of lose interest in your hobby.
8) Sarcasm -
"Someone who tries to peddle sarcasm as a higher form of wit". That's me. Probably because it's easier.
9) Strangely, Making stuff -
As in virtual things. Mostly in Cinema 4D and Photoshop. It's just fun when the bean man you made learns how to walk right. Or when you have the power to sadistically twist the limbs of your creation, and put it back the way it was again. Although it's no fun having to wait a few minutes for renders to complete...
10) Life -
The fact that we, and not fire breathing rabbits, were chosen to rule this earth, is great!
Although I must admit a different type of scourge, in the form of the fire-breathing feminist, is threatening civilization today. hehehe... Don't flame me, please(No pun intended). Just got too many e-mails with "How great is a woman" etc. in the subject line.
Like last time, I don't know anyone who hasn't been tagged already. Woe is me. I doubt this chain is goig to end because of me, so ciao for now!
Anyway,
1) Technology -
Although the past week has been a black one for most stuff around me. First my phone memory card goes bust, and then the one I buy to replace it turns out to be slightly incompatible, so I have to wait another week till they get a different brand down. Then I break the glass turntable in the microwave. Then my monitor stops working, so I’m stuck with a crummy 15-inch. Thoughts of sabotage entered my mind when the bus I was traveling in broke down in the middle of the road today.
2) Music -
I just ripped "The Flying Carpet". No, it's not the Aladdin soundtrack. Nice, relaxing music. Although I do push in the occasional Alter Bridge. Something unpleasant happened this last week in music. I copied off all the new music on my brother's mp3 player like I usually do, and was assailed by the likes of S Club 7 and NSync. Apparently, he had autofilled it with random tracks from his office.
3) Weird stuff, like have you ever noticed that you can’t lick your elbows?
4) Laughing -
Most recently, at the audience on the Tyra Show. Those people have been dragged over from a telemarketing show methinks. And considering that everyone who appears on the Tyra Show is either terribly maimed or nutty as a fruitcake, or both if you count Tyra, they appear to be what is scientifically called "Tasteless Bovines"
5) Messed up situations -
I was about 8 years old. And I was at a funeral. We were all gathered round the grave, some fifty-odd people. My cousin(6) and I were way at the back. Suddenly, he grabs my sleeve and points. I turn to see a skull, dug up by some dog and just showing out of the ground. We both start shouting “A skull! A skull!” not in panic, but out of sheer excitement. You can imagine what sort of reaction this caused in the adults. Each of them spun round and stared at us as if we had just murdered the poor guy. Two kids shouting out in joy about a dead guy’s bones is not something you particularly like to hear if your husband’s just passed away. Needless to say, our parents came and dragged us away, apologizing profusely for our “misconduct”.
6) Reading stuff -
But I already mentioned this in the earlier post.
7) Taking pictures of stuff -
I'm not sure if I'm qualified to call myself an "Amateur Photographer". I used to make money off it when I was in the school club, but now it's just regular random pictures of whatever is interesting. But by far the worst part is when relatives ask you to take pictures of various social events. Sometimes, that would be fine, but not when there's another professional guy there, jumping about like spider-man. Photographers are very much like lions. Not in that we pee on rocks, but that we're very territorial. If I walk into another guys turf, he will take me down, either by making my pictures look bad or resorting to the deadliest attack - laughing at my camera. Between his evil looks and the comments of relatives to the tune of "*giggle", "Ohh look who's taking pictures", and "Make sure you focus right this time" you sort of lose interest in your hobby.
8) Sarcasm -
"Someone who tries to peddle sarcasm as a higher form of wit". That's me. Probably because it's easier.
9) Strangely, Making stuff -
As in virtual things. Mostly in Cinema 4D and Photoshop. It's just fun when the bean man you made learns how to walk right. Or when you have the power to sadistically twist the limbs of your creation, and put it back the way it was again. Although it's no fun having to wait a few minutes for renders to complete...
10) Life -
The fact that we, and not fire breathing rabbits, were chosen to rule this earth, is great!
Although I must admit a different type of scourge, in the form of the fire-breathing feminist, is threatening civilization today. hehehe... Don't flame me, please(No pun intended). Just got too many e-mails with "How great is a woman" etc. in the subject line.
Like last time, I don't know anyone who hasn't been tagged already. Woe is me. I doubt this chain is goig to end because of me, so ciao for now!
Monday, May 5, 2008
India!
Hello All!
I’ve been away for a while, but rest assured that I enjoyed every minute of it! :p Anyway, Here’s some captioned pics I took. To explain the whole trip word by word would be too much like forcing you to watch the endless slide shows of vacation pictures on my hard drive. Since I haven’t got a kick out of torturing my audience in a long time, I’ll just provide the pictures. Most of them can be clicked for enlargements.
This is more or less the India that I remember most from my last trip there. The Ambassador taxis. When I was a kid I thought it was the bomb! (Who says 'the bomb' anymore these days eh?) You could fit about 7 people in one, and it had nice 'cushiony' seats. This time over, I went just once in one of these, and it wasn’t very pleasant. Too hot and bumpy. It was hot enough to melt the deodorant right out of my armpits. But newer locally made cars seem to overcome this problem, by switching the A/C to “Blizzard” mode when started, then carrying on at a more sedate pace.
The beach! Holy land for many a temperature-challenged person! Or maybe even many a thirsty old man. When I initially decided to go to the beach, it was 12 noon. Now, many years of comic books and Bay-Watch-ish programming on TV has instilled in me the idea that the beach was a place for any time of day. Need a run in the morning? The beach. Need to cool off after a grueling day at school? Need to chill after a hard day’s work? Need a place to bury a corpse in the night? Anyway, my midday soirée was cut off at the pass by my mother who shouted in astonishment whether I was insane going to the beach at noon. Apparently it was the devil’s fryer at this time of day. I finally managed to get out at about 3pm. Windy, salty and completely deserted! Awesome strip of beach.
Last time I went, the railway station looked more or less like the Fort station. Concrete floors, dirty walls with peeling paint, and urchins sitting around staring at tourists. But man, have things changed. Now I know what they were talking about when they said India’s developing, fast, on CNN. One thing that would have led to this, I think, was sponsorship. Advertisements were plastered all over the place. In the station, on the stairs, in the trains, and they even had these screens inside the trains which were showing a sort of mini TV station broadcast just for the railway service. This too had many ad spots.
Some Chinese fishing net thing. They lower the net side into the water, then raise it up using the counterweights on the other end. I doubt they use these even in china now.
Just checking how far the zoom on the camera worked :) . The blocky ness is due to digital zoom. But, 12x seems pretty decent. I’m stuck with this compact till I get a job.
This is in Cochin. A fraction of it, actually. Take that picture, and multiply by 100 and you’ll have an idea of what it looks like now. Unfortunately I couldn’t carry the camera around while we were driving around, so no cityscapes or anything. But on the bright side, without a camera, I blended in nicely as just another local. But when it came to talking, I stuck out like a sore thumb with my accent. Most shopkeepers smiled and asked whether I was from SL, or just looked a bit puzzled. But all in all, shopping around was interesting. Three assistants introduced themselves to me in the same store, going from section to section.
Amusement park was truckloads of fun, with all sorts of rides. From rollercoaster’s water rides. I finally discovered why people scream in rides. Yes, this rock crushing demon bashing specimen of man was screaming his head off. But the problem with a water park is, while you’re going on the rides, you can’t take pictures without your camera meeting it’s maker in a watery grave.
More experiments with the camera. That’s my cousin on the left, “handling” his hair. My cousin and his family spent about four days going about with us, which gave us the opportunity to say whatever the hell we want in Sinhalese, knowing no-one else understood. Thankfully, we didn’t run into any tour-guides.
The collage! Click for enlargement!What collection would be complete without it? Some of the Flora and fauna, and some buildings. The cat’s my aunt’s. And yet again, I find that this camera is very satisfying when used in macro mode. 2cm is close enough to see every detail in anything.
There you have it, folks. My entire trip vaguely outlined with pictures.
I’ve been away for a while, but rest assured that I enjoyed every minute of it! :p Anyway, Here’s some captioned pics I took. To explain the whole trip word by word would be too much like forcing you to watch the endless slide shows of vacation pictures on my hard drive. Since I haven’t got a kick out of torturing my audience in a long time, I’ll just provide the pictures. Most of them can be clicked for enlargements.
This is more or less the India that I remember most from my last trip there. The Ambassador taxis. When I was a kid I thought it was the bomb! (Who says 'the bomb' anymore these days eh?) You could fit about 7 people in one, and it had nice 'cushiony' seats. This time over, I went just once in one of these, and it wasn’t very pleasant. Too hot and bumpy. It was hot enough to melt the deodorant right out of my armpits. But newer locally made cars seem to overcome this problem, by switching the A/C to “Blizzard” mode when started, then carrying on at a more sedate pace.
The beach! Holy land for many a temperature-challenged person! Or maybe even many a thirsty old man. When I initially decided to go to the beach, it was 12 noon. Now, many years of comic books and Bay-Watch-ish programming on TV has instilled in me the idea that the beach was a place for any time of day. Need a run in the morning? The beach. Need to cool off after a grueling day at school? Need to chill after a hard day’s work? Need a place to bury a corpse in the night? Anyway, my midday soirée was cut off at the pass by my mother who shouted in astonishment whether I was insane going to the beach at noon. Apparently it was the devil’s fryer at this time of day. I finally managed to get out at about 3pm. Windy, salty and completely deserted! Awesome strip of beach.
Last time I went, the railway station looked more or less like the Fort station. Concrete floors, dirty walls with peeling paint, and urchins sitting around staring at tourists. But man, have things changed. Now I know what they were talking about when they said India’s developing, fast, on CNN. One thing that would have led to this, I think, was sponsorship. Advertisements were plastered all over the place. In the station, on the stairs, in the trains, and they even had these screens inside the trains which were showing a sort of mini TV station broadcast just for the railway service. This too had many ad spots.
Some Chinese fishing net thing. They lower the net side into the water, then raise it up using the counterweights on the other end. I doubt they use these even in china now.
Just checking how far the zoom on the camera worked :) . The blocky ness is due to digital zoom. But, 12x seems pretty decent. I’m stuck with this compact till I get a job.
This is in Cochin. A fraction of it, actually. Take that picture, and multiply by 100 and you’ll have an idea of what it looks like now. Unfortunately I couldn’t carry the camera around while we were driving around, so no cityscapes or anything. But on the bright side, without a camera, I blended in nicely as just another local. But when it came to talking, I stuck out like a sore thumb with my accent. Most shopkeepers smiled and asked whether I was from SL, or just looked a bit puzzled. But all in all, shopping around was interesting. Three assistants introduced themselves to me in the same store, going from section to section.
Amusement park was truckloads of fun, with all sorts of rides. From rollercoaster’s water rides. I finally discovered why people scream in rides. Yes, this rock crushing demon bashing specimen of man was screaming his head off. But the problem with a water park is, while you’re going on the rides, you can’t take pictures without your camera meeting it’s maker in a watery grave.
More experiments with the camera. That’s my cousin on the left, “handling” his hair. My cousin and his family spent about four days going about with us, which gave us the opportunity to say whatever the hell we want in Sinhalese, knowing no-one else understood. Thankfully, we didn’t run into any tour-guides.
The collage! Click for enlargement!What collection would be complete without it? Some of the Flora and fauna, and some buildings. The cat’s my aunt’s. And yet again, I find that this camera is very satisfying when used in macro mode. 2cm is close enough to see every detail in anything.There you have it, folks. My entire trip vaguely outlined with pictures.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
*Stuff*
Filler post!
Movies I watched the past few days. Being the excellent critic I am, and having my impeccable taste in movies, You can be sure you're getting the truth. :D -
Alien Vs. Predator 2 - It seemed impossible that this movie could be bad. It had Aliens, and Predators. Also a few wimpy humans to boot. All three races fighting in close proximity promised a tornado of alien killing, blood spurting action. But, going against the laws of nature, it sucked. Big time.
Charlie Wilson's War - It's a great movie, just that I don't have much to say about it. Just watch the thing, will ya?
The Golden Compass - This is one great movie! It's got fantasy worlds, talking Polar Bears and flying ship things, all of which ensure a great journey into the world of "His Dark Materials"
Meet the Spartans - Funny in parts, but as a whole, doesn't really get you rolling on the floor laughing. What? you think people don't mean it when they say ROFL?
Jumper - Watched with a couple of friends. It wasn't blockbuster class, but it provided a few good moments. Not enough though.
That 70's Show - Watching the first season. Man this show is awesome!
Heroes - Second season. Some people said it was worse than the first, but I beg to differ. Sylar's alive, more people with cool powers and Peter getting even more powerful!
Will post a proper post sometime AFTER the 23rd or so. Going to India, so will have some stuff to jot down...
Movies I watched the past few days. Being the excellent critic I am, and having my impeccable taste in movies, You can be sure you're getting the truth. :D -
Alien Vs. Predator 2 - It seemed impossible that this movie could be bad. It had Aliens, and Predators. Also a few wimpy humans to boot. All three races fighting in close proximity promised a tornado of alien killing, blood spurting action. But, going against the laws of nature, it sucked. Big time.
Charlie Wilson's War - It's a great movie, just that I don't have much to say about it. Just watch the thing, will ya?
The Golden Compass - This is one great movie! It's got fantasy worlds, talking Polar Bears and flying ship things, all of which ensure a great journey into the world of "His Dark Materials"
Meet the Spartans - Funny in parts, but as a whole, doesn't really get you rolling on the floor laughing. What? you think people don't mean it when they say ROFL?
Jumper - Watched with a couple of friends. It wasn't blockbuster class, but it provided a few good moments. Not enough though.
That 70's Show - Watching the first season. Man this show is awesome!
Heroes - Second season. Some people said it was worse than the first, but I beg to differ. Sylar's alive, more people with cool powers and Peter getting even more powerful!
Will post a proper post sometime AFTER the 23rd or so. Going to India, so will have some stuff to jot down...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
The Birds and Bees of Sri Lanka
Did YOUR parents talk to you about the birds and the bees?
How do people over here learn about procreation? 99% of the time, there is no 'talk' between parent and child. I for one just sort of picked up the gist of it from the many books lying around the house. Notably the 'Reader's Digest Home Medical Guide'. Actually, looking back now, I wonder why the thing had such vivid descriptions... :s Maybe even a few adults needed a reminder on exactly how it works. Or if my parents placed the book there in the first place, so I'd read it and not have to ask THEM!?
I'll freak out about my parent's intentions later...
Anyway, point is, most of us never really get any real info off our parents. So how Do we find out about this stuff? I did some (sketchy) research, and found that most just get the info from a friend, or a group of friends who piece together something from the scraps of information they've found out. Freaky, when you think of all the misleading things that could pop up from a bunch of 6th graders piecing together facts. At that stage they're likely to believe it if told that babies are made by Microsoft, when we all know that they come from Mars.
But the fact is, all of them get it right some time or the other, without any help from teachers or parents. Sure, there are some leftover beliefs floating around such as doing certain things making you go blind which refuse to bug off, but these are just peripheral to the Main Idea. And it's not just the functioning. We know about safety first. We know. But how? Why do we know this stuff? Students in the US are having sex-ed classes drilled into them from kindergarten, yet some of them are dumb as bricks when it comes to it. But yet here we are, a country in which the subject is shunned and kicked aside by a culture driven by prudish monks, where the closest education we get is "Life Education", and we still know. Weird shit...
How do people over here learn about procreation? 99% of the time, there is no 'talk' between parent and child. I for one just sort of picked up the gist of it from the many books lying around the house. Notably the 'Reader's Digest Home Medical Guide'. Actually, looking back now, I wonder why the thing had such vivid descriptions... :s Maybe even a few adults needed a reminder on exactly how it works. Or if my parents placed the book there in the first place, so I'd read it and not have to ask THEM!?
I'll freak out about my parent's intentions later...
Anyway, point is, most of us never really get any real info off our parents. So how Do we find out about this stuff? I did some (sketchy) research, and found that most just get the info from a friend, or a group of friends who piece together something from the scraps of information they've found out. Freaky, when you think of all the misleading things that could pop up from a bunch of 6th graders piecing together facts. At that stage they're likely to believe it if told that babies are made by Microsoft, when we all know that they come from Mars.
But the fact is, all of them get it right some time or the other, without any help from teachers or parents. Sure, there are some leftover beliefs floating around such as doing certain things making you go blind which refuse to bug off, but these are just peripheral to the Main Idea. And it's not just the functioning. We know about safety first. We know. But how? Why do we know this stuff? Students in the US are having sex-ed classes drilled into them from kindergarten, yet some of them are dumb as bricks when it comes to it. But yet here we are, a country in which the subject is shunned and kicked aside by a culture driven by prudish monks, where the closest education we get is "Life Education", and we still know. Weird shit...
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