A Question of Chivalry

Would you hit a girl? Stop looking at me like that. I didn't do nuthin'. Just wondering whether that whole thing about not hitting a lady applies what with all the feminazis and dykes around chipping away at it.

And as we all know, I have a stellar record with regard to women's rights.

:D

But! I shall post an 'article' by my guest poster, Dr. Black Rapper,( MA, BS, YA, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH). Dr. Rapper is a freelance lecturer on sociology and has been heard by an audience of many millions. He is an expert on bitches.

Yo,
Whence came this tradition of harming not a hair on a person of the female persuasion?
What? You think all black people talk like they've got a komodo dragon gnawing it's way down their throat? You female-dog buttock fair-skinned ones are all the same, mentally inept buttock those-who-procreate-with-the-female-parental-unit...

But that is besides the point. Through extensive study of the search engine variety, I came to the conclusion that the internet is indeed full of porn. You cannot innocently search for 'man banging wife' without being assaulted by content of a less than family friendly nature. So I just assumed that the notion came about in the distant past when women were considered all weak and shit. Lesser beings and whatnot. But has the story not changed now? It is fair to believe that most reasonable people are sans bias with regard to sexes.

So it follows that both men and women will be treated equally in all spheres of life. And one of these spheres is Mortal Kombat the act of expressing violence. All of us, except those who are strangely predisposed to the teachings of various religious figures or tiny bald men in lungis, will strike back at someone who has struck us. Or at least fend off attack in an almost-offensive kind of way. We try to disable the attacker, especially when the attacker is in a state of such boiling anger that global warming activists set up shop around him for heating up the planet. That is, anti-global warming activists, not the ones who are pro-'let's turn earth into a sauna'. But yes, most people would attack any attacker of the same sex.

But imagine if you were being attacked by a female. You being male, that is, since females attacking females just ends up in a shrieking mass of blurry fingernails rolling about on the floor. Somewhere along the line a camera will show up.

If a male is attacked by a female, he would, most likely, use as little force as possible. Only using the force necessary to keep the attacker at bay. I know I would. I cannot help it. It's just hard to get over that conditioning of "don't hit a girl". I would certainly not react in the same way as if a male was the the one doing the assaulting.

What say you, females? Let's face it, the average male is physically capable of overpowering the average female. So it follows that in most of these encounters, the male would come out on top. No, that is not supposed to imply something. Get your minds out of that disgusting gutter. Should the same treatment be meted out to males as well as females?

So I was thinking(again)

I can't really remember what the last 'So I was thinking' post was about. No, that isn't what I'm thinking about either. I just created a wordpress blog and hell, WP is brilliant! It's practically Google Analytics in the dashboard, with some added extras. So I will probably be switching to that permanently. I would also like to know if anybody has a way to export blogger posts to WP. I feel like I've discovered chocolate after eating cocoa powder for so long, believing it to be bounty from heaven.

Anyway,
Twitter is strange. It's kind of addictive, yet we(the 'locals') use it not for its intended purpose but as a mini-chat like thing. It's a great big orgy of instant messaging. Whenever you go to sleep or work, anything that takes you away from the internet, you feel this strange... feeling... of being disconnected. It's like waking up in the middle of the night, to find yourself sleeping on the floor. You know things have happened, but you're not quite sure what they are. For example, leave @stfallen and @papareboy alone in the wee hours of the morning, and you find all sorts of words like 'Pani Bunis' and 'I don't love you anymore!!!111' floating around when you log on in the morning. Thoroughly disorienting when you expect things like "Going to work. Boring day" or at the least "Whackster looking for attention of the troll-ish persuation. Yawn".

At least now we know to stay away from people like @pseud0random who tweet saying "My favourite past time is to push little girls off their bikes and steal them". The bikes, not the little girls. Oh, now we know where LLD gets all that insider info on bloggers. Sneaky.

Sabby has yet again abandoned my blog I see. I have proof! Google reader tells me that there are only a few dozen hits from the middle east, and most of them come from Google keywords of the anti-flying machine variety. Flight simulator, bomb, hijack, U-235 decay rates, AK-47 suppliers and 'Airline Food Menus From Around The World' feature quite high on the list.

Speaking of menus, this small cafe thing just opened up across the road from where I work. T'was quite an adventure going into it. The lone table inside was surrounded by about five people. As soon as they saw me, they sprung up and dispersed, giving me a "you just HAD to come in here, didn't you? If you don't order for at least two, we'll take you to the Zionist thing back there and do Zionist things to you." Zionist sounds like something Dr. Evil would make up. Whatever it is... *looks up in wikipedia. Ohhhh.... But then why is it practically right next to some Islamic girls' school? That's just asking for it. Females already dressed for some ninja action just a wall away.

Anyway, I walk up to the counter and this dude who looks like he has a subscription to "Linux Illustrated" stares back at me, beard and all. I meekly as for two little burger things and a cup of black currant juice. Get a feeling of various eyes boring into me. Look around to see the previous knights of the round plastic table draping themselves on various fixtures around the room. A doorway would bring me a curious look, the far end of the counter suddenly looks away, pretending to stare at the items on display.

I take my eatables to the table and eat. Quickly. Stuff it all in my mouth and get up. Hurry outside.

I don't look back and hightail it back to work. I don't think I'm going in there alone again.

Lies 5.0 - Web of Lies

You might have heard that we went to the beach again. This time, the directions were even worse than at the bachelor's thing. It's only saving grace was that it was in the daytime. Another difference was that MoM was around too so I had to stay clear of buying any refreshment for fear of the shopkeeper carefully considering the Mario-Brothers like look on the mess-aiya's face and having a sudden negative discount sale.

After being intercepted by St. Fallen, being told that we suck because we didn't find the place five minutes earlier(they just don't make saints like they used to) and finally reaching the place, we sat. Coke. Drink. Stuff.

---

Eventually, we go sit out on the beach, whacko arrives, we find it hilarious that papareboy goes off looking for his phone when we all saw it had fallen out of his pocket when he sat down. We hid it. Then MoM, being the tattletale that all females are, went and dragged papareboy, who was by now asking the waiters whether they had seen anyone steal it, back to the beach and gave him his phone. Spoilsport. She has now gone down a few notches in reputation points for all males, except for papareboy, but nobody cares what he says anyway.

We get kicked off the beach because it was being used as a landing site for invading barbarian hordes or something. I have a sneaking suspicion the waiter just made it all up.

Get to a more civilized location via the whackmobile, which had managed to traverse the dense jungle to get to this god forsaken patch of beach. Get to majestic city, do a circuit of the upper floors(I might note that papareboy looked as if he'd been doing it all his life, and made comments along the lines of "Oh gawd, we're 'MC dudes' aren't we? Oh man this sucks, I mean like, wh would ever be an MC dude? Jeez, not me, definitely not me...."), head to the food court and get ice cream.

It was fun eating things in front of papareboy, who seemed to have eaten something dirty and gotten his stomach in a twist for two months and hence couldn't eat a thing. We all commented on how yummy everything was.

Should go again sometime.

Sweetness

Delilah and that runt Fallen have been discussing my 'sweetness' for some time now. I think it now deserves it's own topic, like #jerryssweetness or something. Now I have definite proof that under this hard, oh-so-manly and stare at me wrong and you die exterior, I am 'sweet'. In a good way.

Rats eat through my clothes in the night. I carelessly leave a few items lying around the room and some vile creature turns it into a gourmet dinner. I'm left with clothing best described as "well ventilated". I will need help in capturing this thing. The THING probably knows it. Don't you? Heck, you're probably on first name basis with em. I will need a mousetrap. A RAT trap. Nay! A bear trap, to capture the creature which had the gall to eat MY clothing! It must be massive. No other being would dare irk me.

Yes, that must be it. A giant bear-rat that's been ravaging the townspeople.

So, OM 2

Yeah, I'm making a second post. No reason, just to uh... clarify?

So there I sit, leaning against the wall, listening to some more poetry. Load up twitter. Eventually receive previously mentioned "BERRY!" text. Dread. Look around a bit, scanning the crowd. Can't look at many faces for fear of some enraged harpy staring daggers at me.

See Gollum next to me, in a green shirt. He takes out phone. Nokia. The phone of choice for the dark forces. Forward Berry message to him, adding "Somewhere in this room is the person who sent me that message. She has the ring". He looks around, drools. Fails. Never was much good at anything, that useless little $#&#^%!@#...

End of OM, walk over to whack. I'm wearing a _blue_ shirt. See him beckon, blah blah blah, DeeCee hobbles over, wearing many rings on fingers. Gollum goes crazy, starts tugging at her fingers, DC and Gollum locked in combat over toy ring gotten out of cereal box. Whack starts selling tickets to fight.

Dee kicks Gollum in the family jewels, escapes with horrendous looking scar on arm. Runs over St. Fallen in desperate getaway in car.

And THAT, my friends, is the true story of how your grandma met the president.

Open Mic

Went for last Thursday's Open Mic. After a lot of hullabaloo about the war, celebrations for ending of said war and some other stuff about st. fallen's suicidal tendencies being brought out through a 'poem' about glasses full and half full of poison, I recieved a text.

A strange text. From a strange number.

A text with a single word in it.

A word that made me jump. A word that took me by the scruf of the neck, pushed me against the wall and said, 'I'm female'.

'Berry!'

I look around the room. A sea of faces in an ocean of... attentiveness? I'm not too sure. What with getting linked on the great RD's blog, I feel like I'm expected to come up with 'sophisticated' one liners and put downs every other line. It's quite taxing. Almost drains you of anything funny you had to start with.

Since Delilah seems to be the most frequent offender for usage of that word, I wonder if she's around. Log onto twitter. See if anybody is on who's been mobile tweeting. Nothing of interest. Strange. Nothing much of interest after that till-

After it was over, Mr Whackster beckons to someone in a manner saying 'Come aney, he's not going to bite you'. Somebody comes. Somebody is introduced as Delilah. I go D: . Then somebody else grins, not Delilah. DeeCee! And er... I'm sorry, I can't live up to your 'Be all sarcastic and make me look all...'. I just can't. There's nothing to write. A few seconds of exposure just doesn't give me enough to go on, especially when you're about as interactive as a wall, and not a revolving, hidden door-sy wall. Suffice to say, she was... different.

After that and after a brief ride in the whackmobile, I was off home. All in all it was pretty good. Fallen says it was the best we ever had. I'll take his word for it.

Speaking of 'Best I ever Had', I finally heard Gehan singing. Yes, just yesterday. And... he was pretty good.

There. A coompliment. A real compliment.

See? Miracles _do_ happen :P

Good Monday Everyone. Smileys.

It's another Monday. Eurch.

I like smileys. Not that I go overboard with them or anything. ;) ;) :P

But one smiley which I regard with utter contempt is... is... it is one which mocks you, confuses you and makes you question yourself over and over again.

;D

That blasted thing. What is it doing? Grinning widely, but also winking. Try doing that with your face. Now try to not look like a retard. You are told that the user of this smiley is grinning, but then when you see the wink, you wonder if that really is the case. For all we know, they might be winking just to tell us "You're not funny, but I'm grinning anyway just to stop from being uncomfortable". Or even "Haha, I'm laughing AT you, not WITH you, fool". A mischievous grin? is that it? But would ;) not suffice?

Bah, I don't care.

:P

Getting Attention

I've been feeling pretty neglected on the blogosphere lately, what with most trolls ignoring me and even that other douche seeming to pick Gehan over me. Highly distressing when you thrive on hits.

So to rack up some pageviews and generate some troll-fodder, I present to you my latest post on what people are saying.

Let's see.

Drag up Gehan's blog for a blogroll. His own blog has some sob story about him crying or something. Speaking of, I still haven't heard him sing :/

Moving on to the blogs, DC has something about a Japanese fetish. And something to do with rats. A rat, rather.

Charm Bracelet is closing up. Oh well, more hits for me. But I still think it's pretty pointless leaving.

Pseudorandom is having a Bad Day. She's listening to 'Let Her Cry' by Hootie and the Blowfish. Maybe that's why. And the title is clearly a Daniel Powter song, and not, say for example, Fuel. It's so "E-FM... All the time".

D has posted again, but only to tell us she shouldn't be posting. She makes a few solid points such as me having to be more careful with messages and girls being fun to look at. But then she goes a bit off and says she misses Sabby. I mean, who misses HER? Certainly not any of us.

Scrump has a post on the significance of 'x'. Must be some secret code by women to taunt us. See, signals like that don't work unless the dude you're sending them to knows what it means. Apparently all women know this. Except for scrump. Signs of a hairy 40-year old hiding behind a keyboard pretending to be a 20-something 30-something female?

Next up is RD. Something about writing. Long post, and I'm not in the mood to read it all. Pic of a written page. So I skim through it. I see something about Pubs, then a claim of "I'm gay and I hate all you English bastards.". I can't really say I knew that, but the moisturizer did throw some doubts that way.

Then there's T. Click and it's all black and gray. This taking quotes out of context thing is fun. Like "Clearly I have a problem selling myself.".


And then I got bored. That's it for now till I get round to writing a proper post.

Goththu

Heh, how's THAT for a title, eh kids? :P

If you're wondering what it means, it means you're not samrt like me. But I'll explain anyway. See, a lot of people on kottu are acting all depressed and waxing lyrical about how people do strange things and pain being everywhere. Much like goths. So my reasoning is kottu + goth = goththu. Do you see now? How cool is that eh? No? I'm a foolish little boy making stupid word plays? Screw you.

Anyway, you lot HAVE been acting a little strange lately. I think it happens in waves. One prominent blogger starts it off and the rest of you follow up like lemmings jumping off a cliff. Sure, the moon at vesak was as fugly as ever, it's either raining catdogs or solar surface hot and kottu's full of bad poetry. The latter being the most valid reason to fall into such an emo-like state. But then again, turning emo means your output of bad poetry goes up by about 500%, creating a vicious cycle. Sort of like drinking to forget about your drinking problem. Or like... like... Something you do to stop doing that same something. I don't know. My brain's not working. But the point is, you're turning this place into a goth convention, complete with attendant trolls, skinny witches and nerdy punk rock fans. Everywhere I look it's wah wah the war! wah wah my family's starving! wah wah my leg got bit off by Gehan at the mall! Bah, sell your PC and buy some cereal. Or just stay away from the mall. Meh. You deserve what you get if you went to Kandy anyway.

Just shows even more clearly that you lot should be more like me. For example, last night I woke up with a start and realized something cold was rubbing against my leg. I look down and see a long black thing lying there, tip rubbing on my thigh. I certainly didn't shriek and jump off the bed. No, definitely not. I er... bit it. Yeah, I bit it, only to discover it was merely a black leather belt. Man up, lankanosphere(enough people have given credit to RD now to stop doing that now)!

Oh and I went to church today and skipped out during communion. Nothing funny there. But CB insisted so I put it in here. Go TP her house for dirtying my blog with such trash.

Rant + Twilight

Bleeaarrrrggghhhhh.

I keep seeing guys in pink T-shirts. What's wrong with you? Pink is just not a colour a regular guy can wear. Unless he's on a catwalk. You do not, in fact, exude confidence or show any lack of insecurity in your sexuality. If you are secure in your sexuality then you wouldn't have to wear a statement enforcing that point. Face it, even though everyone says 'it's just a colour', it's still a less than desirable colour for say... A sport scar. Unless you're a woman. There. Would you drive a pink BMW, males? No? Oh But I thought you were all for the 'confident and yet sensitive' look. Bull. All that new age hogwash can go the way of political correctness and the abominable snowperson.

I watched Twilight. Well, about 40 minutes of it because I was getting late for work and my fingers were sticky from licking the chocolate off them. Anyway, the first thing that struck me was how pasty they all look. Even the mandatory black guy was white, even the girl from Arizona. Vampires, fine, but the others? I had to turn off auto-levels on Media Player Classic to make the thing watchable and not look like some weird arty pic. Then we come to the 'main couple'. These two, when together look like the freakin Gilmore Girls. Actually, they're a bit more tan methinks. Mr. bushy-eyebrows is the most emo one can get without wearing black. And considering he's a vampire, I'll bet he does that too. Maybe he bites his wrists every so often to blank out the pain. And god, could Bella 'My face is botox'ed stiff' Gilmore be more typically female*? She falls for the dude, for god knows what reason. Maybe she wants to roam around in the underbrush of his eyebrows. She then gets told that everything about him is made to attract, down to smell even, but no, she 'trusts' him. All this over the fact that he's a vampire! Does she not know what they do? Did that book she brought not tell her that they suck blood and not raise kittens to take lolcat photos of?

Meh.

Yeah yeah, any movie has it's oddities. The pale-faces were just too weird for me.




*Foolish.
:P

I Hate This Date

HisP tagged me for some post. Days I dislike or something like that. You're totally crampin mah stahl dhood. I don't dislike ANY day. Any day, that is, which I don't have to write a post describing days I hate on. So I guess I hate today. You bastard. You made me, the happy-go-lucky, take everything life gives ya, glass is _always_ completely full and filled with cola type of dude and made me hate, despise and actually make me want to murder the day's family! Where's Tuesday through Sunday?! Where's my chainsaw???

GRAAGH! You will die for your insolence, Utopian! You shall drown in a vat of _warm_ beer. I shall make sure of it. And it shall be non-alcoholic beer too. A warm vat of non-alcoholic beer with strawberries in it. Damn you and your whiny attitude! So a day's a little off. Deal with it, Britney. Watch your back next 6th of April. I'm watching you.
*Does two fingers pointing to own eyes, then at Utopian move.




;)


ALSO.
ROFL. Took your suggestion for the stamp thingy. Put it on the left though, cos I'm still not sure how this template scales. Will prolly have to change it a bit and add a new right aligned div and stuff...

Simple Sins

Shout out to mah man Seredib Ahl! Yo yo.

No?

Oh, okay.

On to the list.

1. Me
2. The voice in my head
3. Voice. Not voices. I'm no schitzo freak, you mentally unstable parasites upon society.
4. Oh yeah, three was supposed to be Rainbows. Or something like that. Lollipops, Sunshine etc.
5. Dammit. Four is.... The internet. And five is Music.
6. Walking about aimlessly.
7. But only for a while.
8. Lieing in bed on a cold day.
9. Pointing out other people's typos.
10. Laughing at non-techy people making mistakes.
11. Necrophilia.
12. Using words I don't know the meaning of.
13. Talking.
14. Silence.
15. Disturbed.
16. Alter Bridge.
17. Britne- Wait. This isn't the 'Fav artistes' tag is it? Oh... Er.... The countryside. Yeah.
18. But then... Is 'The Internet' a simple pleasure? I'll assume so.
19. Brokeback Mou- It's not the movies tag either is it? O-Kay...
20. LOOK BEHIND YOU!!!
21. Making corny jokes/looking stupid.
22. Eating ice cubes.
23. The wind.
24. Peppermint, wind and THEN eating ice cubes! Frostbitten tongue, my friend.
25. You.
26. Blogging!

Okay so maybe not all are so simple. Stop being a complexity nazi.

Again, I have nobody to tag since I always get these things last, being at the bottom rung and all. Yeah, you only see the dusty, decaying link to 'A Sort of Beautifu...' on the most shadiest of blogs. The kind of blogs that you wouldn't want to run into in a dark alley.

Till next time, Cheerio!

Moving Pictures

Bussing it to work today, I was looking out the window. Mostly because there was a large-ish woman staring at me if I looked the other way. So as I was staring unseeing at the buildings, people and 'HUNK' movie posters flashing past, I noticed something else. Something scary. Something that made my aesthetic sensibilities curl up and wither away. Election posters. All sorts of bright, even garish colours going by in a blur, plastered on every conceivable vertical surface that is visible to pedestrians, create an almost hypnotic effect. Don't leave your car parked on the street overnight during election time.

If only they'd make slight changes to each poster before sticking them up in sequence. Would be much more entertaining to watch a flip-book style animation of our potential candidates doing something entertaining than to see the same repeating tile of fake smiles and photoshopped faces. Maybe a poster-show of Mervyn wrecking a cam or two? Or a Fight Club enactment in Parliament, starring the JHU members. Perfect light entertainment for a boring bus ride.




***Now Playing***
F>E>A>R> @ f.e. F.E.RR
FEAR 2. - Looks good so far!
Miata is coming along slowly...

Re: A letter of response to the spate of Roach hate posts on the blogsphere, by the High Council of Roaches

Dear Roaches,

You are stupid. You have stimuli and response. If that's the only level of sophistication that can survive on this planet for millions of years, I don't WANT to.

See, nuclear warheads, among other things, are what we made with our weak, non-crawl out of our skin bodies. So till you sprout opposable thumbs and start making things like beer, music, religion and playstations, you still suck. Do you know what suck means? No, because all you can do is breathe.

So you survived a few million years. So did crocs. You don't see THEM going about sprouting superiority facts do you?

You know what? Without us, you wouldn't HAVE a nuclear fallout to survive. It's about time we moved out of your miniature shadow. We're off to space. Can you do that? No, cos you're stupid.

And when we DO get around to blowing up this goddamn planet, we'll make sure we put bug spray in each of those nukes!


P.S.- We would appreciate it if you would stop stealing our technology.

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'll be reading your terror forecast this week.

Down south white van density has reduced greatly, due to which we should be seeing less of the plain vanilla abductions. But reports suggest that more outrageous acts of patriotism will be occurring more often. People working in the media in particular will face much difficulty in day to day duties. They are advised to immediately become taxi drivers to keep from hindering the great progress we are making. Most other areas seem clear for now, but we cannot accurately say whether the rest of the populace will not be affected anytime soon.

As you can see, up north we have some fierce action all converging at one point over Here. People have been advised to evacuate as soon as possible, but there will be no governmental support as the troops are otherwise occupied at the moment. This is a bid to improve the survival skills of the local peoples.

In more good news, we receive reports that the turbulence up here will clear out soon. We trust in our able leaders to guide us through this difficult patch of fate and finally achieve equilibrium, to defeat the godless savages who lay siege to our great nation.

Good night ladies and gentlemen,
and as always,
Ceylon Prevails!


-----------------------------------

Evey Hammond: My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.

V: A man after my own heart.

Yes, been watching too much V for Vendetta.

Hunger

The president's been sworn into powah
People are praising the buggah,
I'm supposed to be rejoicing,
but all I've been musing,
Is Obama rhymes with yo mama


:/

The Return of The Getting To Know Me

Getting To Know My Friend The Zombie

My pal Barney here wanted to join in all the fun of this tagging business too, so I went through the list with him, me being the kind soul I am.

Barney: He's a nice guy when you get to know him

1) How are you today? Brilliant! Can't wait to go terrorise some scientists.

2) What did you want to be when you were little? An astronaut.

3) Favourite toy as a child? I was usually locked up in our basement back then. I guess I could say the occasional small child who wandered in could have been called a toy.

4) Education? Yes, my parent's thought it best to home school me, but even that stopped after ninth grade when I kept eating the teachers.

5) What is under your bed? Oh you know. Odds and ends.

*shudder*

6) Read any books? Why yes, it's quite a challenge keeping ourselves entertained while waiting for the next wave of erstwhile heroes. Death of a Salesman caught my eye, but so far it has been quite disappointing in terms of content.

7) Where are you from? My parents told me I was adopted.

8) Are you a people... er.. Person? Yes. I like people quite well. It may be a one way thing, but when I'm at the mall I go crazy with all the people there.

9) What kind of music do you listen to? I like the old recordings of ambient noises in Nazi concentration camps best but bands such as Slipknot and Marilyn Manson are a suitable alternative. But Miley Cyrus sounds good too.

10) Favourite genre? Death Metal and Pop.

11) Last movie you watched? The Night of the Living Dead. The people at the theater were not surprised to see us there and even asked for autographs. I am proud to say the Zombies are people too program seems to be making progress.

12) Currently employed at? Turtle Rock Studios and Valve. They recently released a videogame titled "Left 4 Dead", which features Differently Alive persons quite prominently.

13) What is your middle name? Well my friends call me 'Biter' but my real middle name is Hussein.

14) What characteristic do you most despise in people? Shotguns.

15) Are you a morning person or a night person? Well it depends. I really like the night because people are more scared, but I keep bumping into things, what with the regulation-zombie-walk and all.

16) Food you dislike? Persians. The cat, not the people. Actually, the Persian president, that Ahmedinejad fellow is an honorary member of Unconventionally and Differently Alive Demographics(UnDeAD).

17) If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? *glare*

18) First person you spoke to on the phone today? You might not have noticed that my fingers are not exactly suited to grasping small devices such as phones. But yes, thank you for reminding me.

19) When was the last time you cried? *GLARE*

20) Okay, okay... Hugs or kis-

What, why are...

Why are you getting up?

!!!

HEY!

getoffmegetoffmegetoffme!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!






*BRAAIIIIIINNNNNNZZZZZZ

Come get to know ME, ingrates!

Now, I can't be having people like TheWhacksteR thinking they've got a bigger ego than me, so here I am with my own 15 questions, plus an extra post just to one-up that humble soul. As usual, I steal from here and there to make this up.

1) How are you today? Awesome

2) What did you want to be when you were little? Big

3) What do you want to be now that you're big? Little

4) Favourite toy as a child? "Vial of Immortality" - I think it really works. Been ten years now.

5) Education? You people think you're so smart because you went to "school"...

6) What is under your bed? Yo mama. Sorry. I mean dust.

7) Tech-head? Yes.

8) Read much? See previous post. What I really meant to say there is that I read a lot and I'm better than you.

9) Roots? Not really sure. Am the only one in my family born here. The parents were still in India before.

10) What do you think of everyone else? They are placed on earth to wait on me

11) Will you make up another four questions? No, I am too egotistical to care.


Fin




*Takes back crown

Of Hair(II) & Women

The Hair bit-----------

My hair's all screwy again. Not that it's too short, but now it's just too unmanageable. Yes yes, I always complain. Just like small children. They yell when they're happy, they yell when they're sad and they yell when you throw them in the garbage. Back to my hair, as some of you might remember, earlier my hair was too short. Then there was a brief period of perfect hair length, lasting about 43 seconds. I tried to take pictures, but it took too long and my hair went back to being mediocre. Now it's all strange. Right after a shower, it'll be malleable and will form into anything I wish. Then in a few minutes it goes back to being a stubborn SOB. It's sentient I tell you. But not sentient like cool transforming robots sentient. More down to earth. Very down to earth, like a gecko or something. Just barely aware of existing, yet living to make tour life a living hell. I don't know about the Geckos around your house, but mine launch little stones at me when I sleep. True story. But now it's just too lazy for me to get it to do anything right. So I'm wondering whether to grow it more and hope for the best or just chop it off like so many trees in a rain forest.



The Women bit----------

Yeah uh, I really don't remember why I titled this post "...Hair & Women". Just a general warning out to all males out there, for god's sake be careful when you zip up beware of the the newest 'most dangerous thing on the planet' that will ruin your life; The Woman Looking For A Friend(WoLFF). A WoLFF is a strange creature. It will make you want to repeatedly hit yourself with a blunt object. It will be all furry and cute at first and then bite you in the ass when you're not paying attention. I take the liberty to quote a very wise man in saying it is akin to going to a job interview, being the best of the lot, yet not being hired. Further, they will call you up frequently to complain about the person they DID hire, all the while extolling their qualifications, which are much inferior to yours. So stay the hell away from a woman who says she wants to be 'just friends' if you know what's good for you.


The " " bit------------

I discovered the next next best thing too. Milo and a blender. Psh, Domestic Goddesses and human cookie machines can't touch this.


**Now Playing**
Finally! Dismembering 'things' in Dead Space

Blogs on 2008 - Analysis

A Comprehensive Analysis of Blog Reactions to The Year Two Thousand And Eight
by Jerry

Lots of people, including me, made posts about last year and how great/okay/horrible it was. All around the blogosphere, the reactions were many and varied, but a definite trend was to be seen.

Most of the males thought it was great, and most of the females thought it was merely bareable, but mostly bad. There were a few dissenters, females AND males who thought it absolutely sucked, but those are the same people who'd go around dressed like a raccoon and faking a drug habit for the 'tortured artist' look. No, I'm not pointing any fingers :P

Since around 80% of bloggers are female, which I assume is due to some horrible accident in the space-time continuum, the overall outlook of the blogosphere for 2009 is : bleak.

So from the male-female thing going on here, I draw the conclusion that cheese is indeed better than frosted car tires.

Anyway, I hear crackers going off all over, celebrating the capture of Kilinochchi. Though I'm a bit disappointed by the progress(:P) The way it was going, since last year we should have captured around a third of India too by now.

And last but not least, blog name's gonna change. I just realized that I have no idea why I picked this title, and that i don't really like it. I mean, look at it.

Plus, it's not like my six million- my thousands the hundreds both my readers would care much about it. So it's going down, as soon as I think of something to put up there.