Airtel can go DIAF

As you might have read, I've been using Airtel for a while now. Still switch back to dialog occasionally, but primary is now the 'tel.

Airtel sucks ass.

Somehow, I expected them to be better. I mean, is it too much to expect decent service from one of the largest telcos in the world? Is it just me or is Airtel challenging me to find a crappier service? I mean, even Hutch, the 'beggar network' isn't this bad. I make a phonecall and I'm certain there will be some disturbance eventually. It recovers, but a few seconds are unintelligible. About 20% of calls get cut off eventually, and a disturbing percentage of the time, the thing doesn't even work at all. Through all this, switch to dialog and everything's fine.

Weird thing is, even on the tel, the signal strength is usually full, but it still sucks. GPRS usually disappears after a few hours till you restart the phone, and data transfer is painfully slow a lot of the time.

Now there have been rumours about them not getting their fair share of bandwidth or something, but well, they ARE rumours, and I'm not really inclined to believe them.

Untiled-(I don't know how many)

Looks like I'm going through a dry spell. I can't think of anything to jot down here. Even now my attention is split between alternately typing a sentence and eating breakfast. I have to be careful not to get the chocolate on my fingers.

I need drama people. I need something to write about. Be it a flame war or a war-war. Maybe someone should post on some irrelevant topic like uh... Global warming or some other thing nobody really cares about. And then somebody should pretend to care and we can all get in a big fight, complete with expletives from one corner, threats from one, oh-so-aloof posts about it from another and carebear stares from Gehan.

There. Managed to finish eating with just slight stickiness on thumb. Hopefully the next person to use the PC will clean the keyboard.

ALSO. I am not mean. Going 'Who the hell are you?' at being introduced to someone is acceptable when you've just arrived at some place at night, after being out the whole day, to be told that your ticket has not been purchased yet, and there ARE none to be purchased. Well it should be.

It is a sad day for me. I just got left at the altar and even divorced. The ex, a certain blogger obsessed with small mostly edible fruits, got Hugh Jackman. I got the strippers form the hen party. Anybody want two male strippers best described as... well... male, Just barely?* At least they're enthusiastic. Just sign in to twitter and DM @pseud0random, who seems to be the pimp around those parts.

So, get cracking. I can't wait around all week for you bunch to start hacking at each other with rubber ducks.

Did I mention how global warming sucks? I even saw a t-shirt which said "Al Gore didn't invent the internet, but he DID invent global warming". I mean, who believes that stuff anyway? Tree huggers and hippies? Probably because they think they'll have to take a bath one of these days if it gets any warmer. I'm selfish. My kids can ask away about why we didn't do anything to stop it. Hell, they could have carrot red skin. Who cares? It'll be fun to watch the little buggers being chased around by bulls.

Anyone wanna take up the bait?



P.S. - I need somebody else to keep referencing in my posts instead of Gehan, as it seems I call upon him for every other post. I need to diversify. Any candidates for that too?


*Names may or may not include 'Papare' and 'Hish'.

Good Monday Everyone. Smileys.

It's another Monday. Eurch.

I like smileys. Not that I go overboard with them or anything. ;) ;) :P

But one smiley which I regard with utter contempt is... is... it is one which mocks you, confuses you and makes you question yourself over and over again.

;D

That blasted thing. What is it doing? Grinning widely, but also winking. Try doing that with your face. Now try to not look like a retard. You are told that the user of this smiley is grinning, but then when you see the wink, you wonder if that really is the case. For all we know, they might be winking just to tell us "You're not funny, but I'm grinning anyway just to stop from being uncomfortable". Or even "Haha, I'm laughing AT you, not WITH you, fool". A mischievous grin? is that it? But would ;) not suffice?

Bah, I don't care.

:P

Goththu

Heh, how's THAT for a title, eh kids? :P

If you're wondering what it means, it means you're not samrt like me. But I'll explain anyway. See, a lot of people on kottu are acting all depressed and waxing lyrical about how people do strange things and pain being everywhere. Much like goths. So my reasoning is kottu + goth = goththu. Do you see now? How cool is that eh? No? I'm a foolish little boy making stupid word plays? Screw you.

Anyway, you lot HAVE been acting a little strange lately. I think it happens in waves. One prominent blogger starts it off and the rest of you follow up like lemmings jumping off a cliff. Sure, the moon at vesak was as fugly as ever, it's either raining catdogs or solar surface hot and kottu's full of bad poetry. The latter being the most valid reason to fall into such an emo-like state. But then again, turning emo means your output of bad poetry goes up by about 500%, creating a vicious cycle. Sort of like drinking to forget about your drinking problem. Or like... like... Something you do to stop doing that same something. I don't know. My brain's not working. But the point is, you're turning this place into a goth convention, complete with attendant trolls, skinny witches and nerdy punk rock fans. Everywhere I look it's wah wah the war! wah wah my family's starving! wah wah my leg got bit off by Gehan at the mall! Bah, sell your PC and buy some cereal. Or just stay away from the mall. Meh. You deserve what you get if you went to Kandy anyway.

Just shows even more clearly that you lot should be more like me. For example, last night I woke up with a start and realized something cold was rubbing against my leg. I look down and see a long black thing lying there, tip rubbing on my thigh. I certainly didn't shriek and jump off the bed. No, definitely not. I er... bit it. Yeah, I bit it, only to discover it was merely a black leather belt. Man up, lankanosphere(enough people have given credit to RD now to stop doing that now)!

Oh and I went to church today and skipped out during communion. Nothing funny there. But CB insisted so I put it in here. Go TP her house for dirtying my blog with such trash.

On Titles

The more perceptive among you might have noticed that I rarely have a particularly interesting title. For posts. Take the last one for example. I had no idea what to call it so I just put in a generic name. Most of my posts are just about what happens everyday. For example, today I traveled in a bus going so slow and bumpy at times it felt like I was riding a lawnmower to work. Then I'd write a post about bus drivers and women on buses and how I slept on my arm and woke up with it hanging by my side, completely numb today. See, I can get a post out with decent speed, I just have no idea what to call it.

I think this naming affliction is going to come back and shock rifle me in the head some day. I'll probably write a children's book and call it 'Daddy drinks a lot because you cry' or 'The boy who got beaten up, had a revelation and did his homework better. Also Pancakes.'. Hopefully my powers of inventing-a-name-for-something won't be called on too often.

I hereby shorten the name of this blog to ASOB,NQIM. I know it sounds a bit strange but as a friend of mine pointed out, it sounds like one of the names you heard when watching 'The Gods Must Be Crazy' back when you were a kid. Or more or less anything said by the little black guy in it. I've heard he's found his dream job in a coke factory and lives happily ever after. Coca-Cola.

Until next time,
Yours untruly,
Me.

Sorry About...

...that stinker of a last post. I was waiting for someone and someone turned up, so I had to leave in a hurry. I _did_ in fact get that reload, and I _am_ really apologizing.

Anyway,

Heh. Couldn't resist.

Ahem. Anyway, I am finally at peace with my hair. After letting it grow wild for a few months, I chopped most of it off, but with a few adjustments so that now, I don't really have to do anything to it to make it... Presentable. The allure of hair that only needs flattening after a shower is just too much to stay away from.

Also, I seem to keep imagining that random people on the street or on buses are bloggers. I'm not sure why I do this, but it just happens. Probably has something to do with the fact that I only realized most bloggers were normal people at the last Open Mics. Till then I was under the impression that most were members of some elite book club, hanging around various upmarket hangouts with a latte in hand, quoting some obscure poet. I mean, I see blogs with Picasso or Andy Warhol pieces in the footers. I thought Andy Warhol was a comedian or something. And as for all those weird poetry excerpts, what the hell? If I manage to just barely scrape a meaning out of it without introducing my head to my desk, I consider myself lucky. Turns out they're all regular dudes and dudettes(?) after all.

Merry Monday everyone, have a great week!

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Happy

I have made a groundbreaking discovery. Well not literally breaking the ground, but it'll at least shake the ground a bit from all the people stomping their feet on it out of indignation. Indignation at what, you ask? I shall tell you, right after these announcements -

I have chucked the hutch. Picked up an Airtel to replace it as my trusty secondary SIM. So yeah, everyone who took me down a notch from 'Awesome' to 'Bloody Brilliant' can just raise me back up in their opinion of me. Thank you.

My shoulder hurts for some reason. Like I've been driving it into a concrete pillar repeatedly. Before you ask, no I haven't been practicing my tackling with my brother. Nothing as exciting as that I'm afraid, just been sleeping on it too rough, I guess. Yeah, I sleep hard. I sleep a real man's sleep, with four pillows. Thought I'd rough it today and lost one. Guess I was just being too reckless.

Yes, back to the groundbreaking discovery. But er... I... Well it seems to have slipped my mind. Will remember soon, so till then,

The only reason two random people meet, start dating etc. is because of phone companies. Not because they allow the two to stay in touch, but because the phone companies themselves engineer the relationship. I suspect that these 'Call center workers' are really just office drones who go through secret profiles of many thousands of people a day, finding matches. I mean, how many of us has used one of these 'call centers'? Once they find two that match reasonably well, they make arrangements. Arrangements for the two to meet. Somehow. Either through mutual friends who are actually undercover agents, online or through some other fluke, they meet. Then the companies proceed to bombard the two with targeted advertising. You see, getting those two to switch to their network is like bagging a small business's business. My talk time, till recently, after many months of usage, was a mere 25-odd hours on the current phone. Then in just under two months, it jumps to nearly 150 hours, and I'm suddenly giving consideration to battery endurance on phones. But see, you have to get _just_ the right match, or you don't talk much at all, as evidenced by my earlier raggedy-man time of just over a day's worth. That would explain the many thousands of texts stacked up.

Oh yes, the discovery.

Yeah uh...

There is no discovery and you're all [insert insult of choice] for reading this far.

Oh well, Might as well bide my time...

So I'm waiting in a cafe for someone and thought I'd make a post to alleviate the boredom. Visit a random blog, and start clicking from there. Listed below are my findings.

• Whacko's labels list has Good and Evil in equal measure(2). Also a misspelled conundrum, egg, and a relieving sign of his heterosexuality in the form of (1) post on Men, and (12) on Women. I also get a kick out of seeing I'm the only blogger listed on it. That is, unless Anarkali or Ranjan Ramanayake have blogs. But that is quickly offset by his vastly greater number of followers.
  
• Go over to the darkside. See yet another video of some hands playing a piano. Shudder at the horde of female fans.
• F**CK F**CK F**CK F**CK F**CK F**CK
• No, that wasn't at the Piano post. Something completely unrelated that just happened.
• Hmmm....
• Bah....
• Anyone want cookies?
  
• Still on the darkside, a map thingy showing readers all over the globe coming to see the maestro at work. Or play. Whichever it is.
• *envy*
• Go to DeeCee's blog. Some Buddha thing. Meh... I doubt people would go on a rampage even if there WAS a Jesus Bar. What with the whole water > wine thing, it might even be quite popular :P
• Apple, change the world? pfft. Steve Jobs is a celebrity. Why must you idolise him for that?
• Eyeliner and I? What be this...
• GAH!! Poetry! Frantically click back.
• What else be there.... Delilah Says Deliberations. Never thought people called Delilah actually existed. Just assumed it was a name made up for movies and things. I mean, it's like... I dunno. Fiction-ey.
• Another post which I find a bit difficult to make head or tail of, so I refrain from comenting here. Er... Anyway,
• Click on Jack's Point of View. Spanish music. Ooooh, Volare. Heard the Russel Watson version of it. Can't listen to anything due to lack of any sound from this PC. Oh well, moving on we see...
• Sabby's blog is still missing.
• Life in Taprobane. Woah, nice images. But... That last picture. How is the fish standing on it's side like that? Is is stuck by the fin to the rigifoam box?
• SI has a map too, but it's coloured all brown, possibly reflecting his current view out the window of endless desert.

Wait. Why am I still writing this post? I'm off to get something to eat.
Cheerio, see ya'll at the next post.

You've Changed. And other things.

I'm not sure I know you any more. You used to keep me happy for hours on end, never failing to meet my every need. But now you've changed. Ever so slightly. I notice these things. You don't keep going for as long as you used to. I notice these slight changes, and I don't think we can work them out without 'outside help'. Or just completely abandon this thing. Yes, I have considered leaving you. Another looms in the horizon and I'm considering it. I think it started that day I got you all wet. You dried off and started being normal again but you're just not the same. You even froze up on me once. But, I guess I'll just have to go get you serviced. Abans should do...

-----

The women's cricket world cup is going on. Why were we not alerted to the existence of this event? Were they trying to hide it from the world? Were they playing a newly discovered game of Stealth Cricket, wherein the players are disguised as pedestrians on the street and play off the streets of Melbourne, stealthily bowling through crowds, and batting ever so lightly using little ping pong paddles? Come on, show us. We won't laugh.
CB, now you know what a chauvinist _I_ am. ;)

-----

Been playing F.E.A.R. 2 : Project Origin the last few days. It's a decent sequel to the first but takes a while to get used to after the more... free... shooters like Crysis and Far Cry. It still retains the old rushing through corridors lined with indestructible piles of paper feel. Seriously. I couldn't even break apart an LCD monitor. Maybe I was playing on settings not high enough for advanced physics effects :/ But you do get used to it after a while and it's still fun. Scary too. But I had the bright idea of keeping the grenade key on "G" and the flashlight on "F". Much confusion ensues each time I try to switch on my flashlight to look at a dark corner. OR when I try yo sneak a grenade into the middle of a patrol and instead light them up with the high beam.

-----

Why don't we have a men's day? Women have women's day, women's rights and all the other associated paraphernalia that you're allowed to gather if oppressed. What the hell? And I wish all you cows spewing propaganda on women's day cramps in all eight of your stomachs.
:P


-----

Oh yeah, as per the first para, I think my phone's losing battery life. It's dead by the end of a day of slightly more than average use. :(

It's so hot I tpyo!

It's so freaking hot! I'm afraid to step out for fear of melting into the sidewalk and slowly seeping into a sewer somewhere. I wake up in the morning to a comfortable 26 odd degrees, get to work and promptly turn into a boiled carrot. Buses suck. Unless you're on the footboard or something. Even then, the only environmental controls are how you position yourself on it. But on the plus side, you get a patta upper body work out. The dude sitting in front of me sweats. I see each little treacle of sweat flow slowly down his neck and plunge into the cotton comfort of his shirt, all the while realizing that there are drops of sweat much like the one I'm staring at behind my own neck. I dab at it. I still reeked when I got off though. Stay away from me these days, I am not an accurate representation of myself.

Roosters are Nature's Snooze Alarms. Ever notice how they let out a cry at daybreak, and then keep dong it till you're awake? Even well into your morning the blasted bird will keep screeching it's throat away. At least with an alarm you can hit it and switch it off. You hit a rooster and... I dunno. Was at hanwelle recently and that place seemed to have chickens like new Zealand has sheep. Except unlike New Zealand there weren't so many stories of people getting randy with the poultry.

Going away to the mountains for a few days improves your writing skills about a millionfold. I come back, jot down a tired post and I get "Nice writing" thrown at me. Now I'm just an everyday c- wait.....*slowly places ego aside for a moment. 'don't worry baby you'll be back in no time'*... I'm just an ordinary chap with internet access and a working knowledge of the language. I wouldn't know good writing if it bit me in the face. Now, to be accused of dishing out the same is bewildering, to say the least. I will assume it was meant as a light compliment only said for lack of anything else to say about the post ...*replaces ego 'come here honey, you're okay..'*...

I do
THIS and THIS



(WIP)It's fun. I also do
THIS STUFF



(Fictional WIP)It's fun too.

I dunno. This is an advertisement. Of me. Dread having to remake portfolio. But then again making it should be fun too, if I didn't have to rush like this. Maybe something new. Need work. Money. Grass is greener and tastes better on another company's lawn. Thank god I made xml files for play lists. I recommend to all you Flash and ActionScript junkies - TweenLite and Five3D. Probably the best combo of libraries I've come across in my (admittedly limited) experience with flash. Just realized, renders. Time... I need a super duper PC...

Phones grow on you. I never thought I'd grow attached to a phone, but I have. It's been through many hazards such as being lobbed over my shoulder and drowning in a wet pocket, and come out with only a few scratches. Although, thanks to those infernal Sony engineers I now cannot claim warranty on it because a little white spot on the back has turned red now that it got wet. Cows. Those genius cows.

Uncomfortable is when your boss's wife is looking for Russian music and you have the bright idea of suggesting she search ISOHunt. Go over to PC, commandeer mouse from her, navigate, enter keywords.
Be assailed by results for Russian videos of a questionable nature.
Rapidly close tab, grin sheepishly and scurry off.

Finally, Mustard is a colour like my ass is the next brown president of the USA. It is much akin to calling a spade a cow. Mustard. Hmph.
:P

...Or is it something like Orange? Is mustard a fruit? It's that yellow powder stuff right? And in some cases paste. Or something. OR, is it some tropical fish? Bleh... Just call it light brown or something will ya? Easier for all concerned.



Oh, and Gehan, here you go-
"How do you keep coming down to colombo to make posts? Or do you just use message relaying monkeys to carry a written page down to colombo, to be typed and postd? hyuk hyuk hyuk"

Chapter 2 : Contact

Continued form here

--------------------

Youdickhead! Its moving! Ohnoohnoohnooo Professor Gunasinghe is gonnakillme'!

'Sir, its reaching for the wormhole!! what do i do sir? sir? SIR!!.....fuck.'

Greenwilly Jayasinghe froze as he saw their, at best, sadistic project mentor entering their little hastily slapped together control room. Greenwilly, Will to his friends, was not by any stretch of the imagination a quick thinking man. How he got into this whole business of littering the universe full of newly created wormholes, nobody knows. On the other hand, his superior, Bluetits, known to his friends as just Blue, was quite capable of dodging even the stickiest of situations.

After a few seconds Blue noticed that his not-too-bright charge had nearly stopped breathing. He turned around to see the considerable frame of Professor Gunasinghe breathing down her nose at him. She was the type of person who would assign you the task of calculating Pi to the millionth digit, with a calculator,if you so much as looked at her wrong. But at the moment, Blue had bigger things to worry about than starting at her rudely.


'What's wrong you! Men, always standing around! What is that!' she screeched, seeing the infra-red video stream of our friend the hothead. Blue cast around for explanations and finally ended up with 'It's a videogame we're testing, ma'am. Just to uh... see if the... ROP's perform right when configured this way.'

'Hmph.... well... get back to work then! Lazy little.....'

'Whoa, that was close...' Blue said as she drifted off to spread her vile self on someone else.

'Uh... Sir, I think you should-'

The hothead had by now moved right next to the wormhole. Now, wormholes are strange things. Even they themselves didn't understand wormholes properly. Each time they had created one in the past, anything they'd tried to bring through it had turned to ashes and little lumps of diamond at this end. They assumed the wormhole was pulling through a great deal more space and matter than they wanted it to, hence creating an unpleasant environment for safe travel. The first primitive species they'd encountered had even used their multi-billion dollar experiment as a convenient waste disposal unit that had popped into existence.

As hothead started slowly moving into it, Blue waited for the CCCRRRRRSSHSHHHHH sound that would signal the need for yet another clean-up of the 'Landing Room', the place where everything significant from the wormhole popped into existence. They'd figured out how to get rid of the useless bits like dust and female aliens along the way. In essence, they were littering along hyperspace.

Hothead tentatively stuck a limb into the strange swirling mass of light and dust, and was promptly sucked into it with a little 'plop' noise. A few seconds later and a few thousand light years away, it blinked. Cold.

Meanwhile, Blue and Willy were getting ready to shut down when their local AI alerted them to the presence of _something_ in the Landing Room. Blue stopped mid-sentence and stared at the screen which was displaying a strange looking thing that looked like a cross between a teapot and a dildo.

'W- We'd better go get to it before her highness finds out, mate' said Blue.

'You think she'll actually try t-' queried Willy.

'No, you idiot. jeez...'

So off they went to the Landing Room, wondering how in the world it had survived. The only possible explanation was that the creature actually _lived_ in such environments. But then it would surely die when exposed to the local atmosphere. He ran faster.

'Entrance to the Landing Room has been restricted to personnel with multi-suits, as inner atmosphere has been adjusted to suit it's sole inhabitant.' chimed the AI.

'Well, there's that question answered...'

He pressed the comm link button on the door. Willy slowly moved behind him.

'Booo' Blue said

What they heard struck fear into their hearts like neither had ever experienced.

'lol lol diS is so aWeSomEE'

-----------------------------

On to MyP

Sorry if it's not what you expected, just wanted to maintain some sameness to it, instead of wildly going all over the place.


Stay tuned for Lies 4.0 : The Beach

One of THOSE posts

I'm in a contemplative mood today. Not that I'm not always contemplating things, like how I'd look in that dude's t shirt or what a sock tastes like, but at the moment it's different. I've been trying to read Excession, written quite brilliantly by Iain Banks, and my mind's back in that 'why did I have to be living back in the 21st century' mode.

But alas, my skills in getting what is in my mind onto my blog are too amateurish to attempt an explanation. I think the problem lies somewhere between the keyboard and my chair. So instead, I will regale you with tales yesteryearday.

It began at the usual 12am. I was awake. Worse, I was under the misguided impression that I was being terribly funny while half asleep. I apologize to any who had to witness it. There should be some kind of law where you can't use words longer than two syllables from 1am - 6am. They might sound like a good idea at the time, but it's like eating ice cream with a fork. It might work, but it's just not right. Then I went to sleep. Then I was awake again. Then on TV there were some tanks and things going by and I was going 'omg omg the Russians are here! get to the basement oh noes we don't _have_ a basement!!!' and then someone told me it was just the GI Joe movie with our president as Cobra so I calmed down. Then I threw fire extinguishers at zombies till breakfast. But a beaver ate my scones so I kicked it. And THEN the neighbor started playing rap music so I opened the window and yelled "HOW BOUT SOME TCHAIKOVSKY YOU PAGANS!!??" and he hit me with a shovel so I threw the cat at him.

After that it was a blur of doing nothing, going out to a friend's place to get some movies and back home for dinner.

Oops, I did it again. Not sing along to Britney Spears, just that this thing is turning into a diary. I think I am rapidly going into that zone where I won't need the "not quite" bit of the blog title...

:(

The Ex-Political Post

So I wrote up a 'political'-ish post. It wasn't very interesting. So off it went to the great heavenly "Drafts" bin. It had all that stuf about independence day and associated hazards like gigantic alien spaceships, stuff happening in the north and if we'll eventually have a reenactment of Tiananmen Square in Fort. Hypnotize springs to mind. And those awe inspiring images of the student standing in the way of the tank. We'll never have that. The students will be _driving_ the tanks here. With all the minorities and dissenters being crushed in their tracks. Dammit. This one's turning politikal too.


Anyway, Music is weird. I go from

"I don't need this s**t
You stupid sadistic abusive f***ing w***e
would you like to see how it feels mommy
Here it comes, get ready to die!"

to

"I'm walking on sunshine wooah
I'm walking on sunshine wooah
I'm walking on sunshine wooah"

In just a flick of a switch. Mood changing, from wishing to break everything in sight to beaming joy. Don't judge me. If you don't like 'Walking on Sunshine' you have no soul, and the devil will gnaw at the toes of your poor, lifeless existence till finally you trip on a protruding root, fall off the rooftop garden of a 100 story building and find yourself in hell. With your mother posing for pictures at the entrance like a sadistic playboy bunny.

Hmm... Hot girl walked in. I'm off...
:P

The Ballad of Isaac Clarke

'omg, 8.5 on ign!' I go
love blossoms
extract, install
play.
disappointment. noob.
PC fuxxored up. virii.

--intermission--

clean, redo,
kaspersky is my friend
extract, install
play.
joy, shining through the wall of zombies
'lol i cn take it' purrs my radeon
all options high
shaders glisten at me
play.
empty corridor

--second intermission--

dark rooms
smooth, I like.
'gimme some action' barks my frisky gpu
enter zombies
'omg omg, tmi tmi!' cries my cpu
'single core', I mutter.
hack, hack, zombies
frames, less than 20, a second
'i want more', gpu
'i can't keep up', cpu 'stfu noob', gpu
'/kick cpu, gpu', grumbles memory
graaagh



So sounds the death knell for my old but graceful Prescott. Dead Space isn't all that fun when the zombies, who're usually pretty slow, do Neo-of-Matrix-fame like stunts.



Look here, we're still the same, even hundreds of years in the future. :D Though I have no idea what "Peng" is.

Space Strippers

Peng???

Untitled 3

While traveling in the front seat of an 'inter-city' bus, I saw cracks on the windshield originating from the approximate spot that my face would hit if the bus were to come to an abrupt stop.

There is nothing to grip but the passenger next to me.

He doesn't look very grippable.

Batten the hatches! Our Doom is here!

Batten the hatches! Our Doom is here!

That is, if local blogs are to be believed. Not war, cockroaches. It seems like there's always someone who chimes in to say how mighty, how great and powerful that creepy insect is. Us puny humans don't stand a chance against such a superior life form. The usual reason being that they can survive a nuclear fallout without a scratch or melt.

And then someone will talk about the great feats of endurance a cockroach went through on the way from the drainpipe to the shower. We humble meatbags cannot compare to the towering feat of evolution that is the cockroach. We will conveniently discard the fact that they are the size of the average toe.

So, Mr. Roach, you think you're so high and mighty? Well, we won't bend to your whims anymore! Though we might cringe at the thought of touching you with our slippers, we can still squash you like, well, a bug. How many roaches do you know who've assembled a nuclear warhead? Can they even SPELL nuclear warhead? Forget that, do they know what letters are? No, they're stupid insects! So what if they can shed their skins? We have GTA! Even better, everyone I know has a slipper! And last time I checked, that was the leading cause of death among roaches. What human do you know who would DIE from a slipper unless it was made of lead?

Roaches are stupid.

Will a roach realize I said they're stupid? No, because it's a dumbass. So stop treating them like a fire breathing leper colony or something.







*EDIT : Flinching bit removed due to author being continually pelted by various objects.

Hunger

The president's been sworn into powah
People are praising the buggah,
I'm supposed to be rejoicing,
but all I've been musing,
Is Obama rhymes with yo mama


:/

So I was thinking....

Something Mr. Darkside said on my last post got me thinking. "How can anyone with a job be so jobless?" he asked. Someone _might_ also have said "lol lol hehe my pink shorts are so fabulous!", but I digress. I don't know. About 99% of my posts are made during work. Which is puzzling, since I go through a regular stream of projects each day. Seriously, you should 'av seen the chicks clawing each other to get to me when I told them about my leet mesh modeling skillz.

Either way, the variables which affect post frequency from bloggers is a mystery to me, of the same sort as why women dig musicians. I mean, really, come on. Is it the instrument? Like some extension of their masculinity, much like a large pistol? If anything, wind instrument players should technically be more attractive to gay males. Some of my friends are in bands, some just play piano or drums for fun, I even met a friend the other day who was on his way to guitar classes. I play my walkman. It puts out ALL those instruments, fools. Is it the personality? Hell no, Me > emo singer, and minus the pansy arsed guitar swinging and stuff.

And to get back from that topic deviation... I post whatever comes to mind as I work. Maybe the rest of you have jobs with about as much excitement as an undertaker's office, but you can't all be like that, surely? I guess it just comes down to whether you really WANT to post something. Losing interest is probably it.

Well anyway, I'm feeling all giggly now because I'm covered in glitter. Yes yes, bring on the faggotry quips, you office drones, it's a long story. Also, Heroes season 3 has a sort of happy ending! yays. Now on to HIMYM se04.



***Now Playing***
Extraction and installation of Dead Space. God, it takes forever.

Blogs I Read(And other things)

Here's another not funny post, Mr Fallen. You might have noticed that if I could keep pumping out posts like that I'd be doing stand up instead of messing with a workstation* for eight hours a day.

Reading through someone's blog, you see how they change, they sort of.. hone their personality. I've no idea whether people actually change in real life, but their writing becomes more refined, sort of. Most of the time I don't even know why I started reading a blog regularly. Sometimes the content is interesting, and other times even the comments draw me in. And in some blogs, the person writing it just seems like a decent sort. Whatever reason it is, you tag along for the rest of their posts and almost become friends. Well, online friends then. And these usually end up better than most online relationships, many of which start off with asl and end with stfu.

And now, to finish this thing off, I need just a few more commas and fullstops. These are my most frequented feeds. If you're not in it, chances are I just drop by randomly. Nah, I'm just being nice. You suck.
;)


- Alphabetical order-title. Google reader, blogs and blog-like things. Please excuse me for the pointless text. Just needed some cannon fodder for the links. Also note that the text has nothing to do with the links. I meant to put in something about how frequently people blog, or something, too. Just imagine I did. It would help if you imagined I said something funny after that too.




*It's not really a workstation, just a crappy mid-range dual core, struggling to keep up. But workstation sounds so much cooler.