Thursday, February 12, 2009
Jerry's View On Relationships
Reeled you in with THAT one eh? Expected ol' me to talk about confusion, surprise, death, destruction and many, many ribbons? That's not what relationships are about? I didn't notice. -_-
Yes rf, I stole your smiley. Bite me.
Anyway,
Since I've established that you lot are a bunch of cricket hating traitors to the motherland, with only a few of you even having a soul, I have nothing left to write here. :s I've tried to pin it on someone sucking my life out, but I'm not so sure now. I'm eating breakfast at the moment, crumpets. I used to love this stuff, and now I'm just barely getting them down my throat. Come on, loss of appetite? Much time spent in a confused daze mulling over what to do? Yes people, I'm dying.
I see that I've made it to some list s. Go read my opinion on ranking at the respective posts. Although I love these sorts of things, since I am 'at the core' a vain, attention starved kid, I am quite disappointed by where I stand in all this. Well what do you expect? I still claim to have an ego that can by itself be classified as a planet. Anything less than a score of 141089 out of 5 is a disgrace. But still, I seem to be slowly withering away. Not in real life, that is, just me as in what you see here. Which is about 80% of real life.
I will join the ranks of the undead with grace.
Wish me luck in plodding through life at a slow trudge,
and munching at your skull if I can't find a fudge.
Don't ask.
And to whom it may concern, and by that I mean Dee, I AM NOT SKINNY :P . I am the proud owner of a BMI that is on the right end of the 'average' marker. An upper middle class BMI, if I may say so myself.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Coolnezz
Cool things change fast. For example, if software piracy was called something like "Illegal data reproduction", do you think so many people would be into it? How can they hope to stop it with a name like that? Leaving that question hanging, let's see what people are like.
There's cool, there's uncool, and then there's you and me. "Cool people" I say, are a myth. Many people might think you cool for something or another, but many more will regard you as just another sheep. Uncool people are abound. You all know them. But then again these "uncool" people are cool to some others. Even this judging of whether someone is cool or not would make me uncool, right? But some people do act certain ways to have an effect on others. And none of you can deny it. Be it either impressing the hot girl in class or trying to get a job. Is pop culture cool? I think most of us would slap an "As seen on MTV" sticker on the face of anyone trying to imitate Soulja Boy. Even the people who go all out to distance themselves from pop culture are called retards. Mommy and Daddy work till five so they wander around looking for trends to rant about. Then there are people who feign semi-insanity in the hopes of getting noticed. And then there's people who keep spewing stuff to entertain others, and try to 'Peddle sarcasm as a higher form of wit'. Like me. Not too sure on the 'entertaining' bit though.
There is no cool or uncool. Just people... who do... stuff.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Ex-Political Post
Anyway, Music is weird. I go from
"I don't need this s**t
You stupid sadistic abusive f***ing w***e
would you like to see how it feels mommy
Here it comes, get ready to die!"
to
"I'm walking on sunshine wooah
I'm walking on sunshine wooah
I'm walking on sunshine wooah"
In just a flick of a switch. Mood changing, from wishing to break everything in sight to beaming joy. Don't judge me. If you don't like 'Walking on Sunshine' you have no soul, and the devil will gnaw at the toes of your poor, lifeless existence till finally you trip on a protruding root, fall off the rooftop garden of a 100 story building and find yourself in hell. With your mother posing for pictures at the entrance like a sadistic playboy bunny.
Hmm... Hot girl walked in. I'm off...
:P
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,
Down south white van density has reduced greatly, due to which we should be seeing less of the plain vanilla abductions. But reports suggest that more outrageous acts of patriotism will be occurring more often. People working in the media in particular will face much difficulty in day to day duties. They are advised to immediately become taxi drivers to keep from hindering the great progress we are making. Most other areas seem clear for now, but we cannot accurately say whether the rest of the populace will not be affected anytime soon.
As you can see, up north we have some fierce action all converging at one point over Here. People have been advised to evacuate as soon as possible, but there will be no governmental support as the troops are otherwise occupied at the moment. This is a bid to improve the survival skills of the local peoples.
In more good news, we receive reports that the turbulence up here will clear out soon. We trust in our able leaders to guide us through this difficult patch of fate and finally achieve equilibrium, to defeat the godless savages who lay siege to our great nation.
Good night ladies and gentlemen,
and as always,
Ceylon Prevails!
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- Evey Hammond: My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.
- V: A man after my own heart.
Yes, been watching too much V for Vendetta.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Books
We've grown used to living with them. They seem content with just lying there gathering dust, waiting for one of us to rifle through them looking for something we missed before. Or a particularly good few pages that we'd like to read again. For our part, we provide them with a roof to exist under and occasionally pick one of them up, shake the dust off and carry it away somewhere to read and keep it back in another place, for someone else to pick up and read.
We, meaning my siblings and I, have grown up with them all around us. One of the first books I remember reading is the Reader's Digest Family Medical Handbook. A thick volume full of illustrations and notes on treating various ailments. Among other things, it had a section for parents on teaching adolescents about reproduction. I didn't know what I was reading at first, but suffice to say that a few years later, I was the first in my class to have found out some very surprising facts.
The books were our personal library. They got us reading and kept us hooked, from hiding under the covers with a light and reading through that Ira Levin novel that had that naked lady on the cover to reading through issue upon issue of thirty years of Television Magazine. Those magazines forged the tech-head circuitry into my mind better than any other form of motivation could.
Those books taught us about far away worlds, of protagonists fighting everything from terrorists to economic depressions. They described in minute detail what the world around us was made from. Regaled us with tales of bravery, adventures we would never have begun to imagine possible and stories that had us laughing out loud at every turn of a page. Created worlds in our heads we still escape to, people of outstanding moral fiber who we tried to emulate and a plethora of theories on everything from the creation of the earth to it's destruction, leaving us to pick and choose at whatever piqued our curiosity.
What I mean to say is, I am what I am because of books. Everything I write, everything you see, and if you've ever met me, things I say and do, are 80% those books living through me. Although, the contents of this blog might lead you to question the contents of those books. And I think my brother hoarded all the funny ones, the sneaky bastard.
Yesterday was the President of the world's inauguration. It was apparently a biggie. I was happily tapping away at my phone on eBuddy in the comfort of my bed. These moments, I wish to God I'd read more of them.
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Anyway, speaking of Obama, a lot of people have him pinned as the reincarnation of Jesus. Why would he be any different just because he's black? He's not even really black, more brownish. I don't recall such a fuss when Clinton was around(Granted I was around five when he was inaugurated :P ). But whatever, I'm far from knowing what I'm talking about in politics. But I am pretty sure you people put too much faith in your politicians, and stop trying to pin that cynic badge on me.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Decisions, Decisions
Just realised this post makes no sense. Tis about higher education.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Pizza
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Short, but crap writing, mediocre writing, or good writing?
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*Now Playing : Crysis warhead
Monday, December 29, 2008
The new year is a knockin'
I'll ignore the fact that most of it was written in the last three months. Also the fact that this is going to be by far my most disjointed post.
- Losing your glasses is like living in a dream. It's all literally just a blur for a while. Thankfully I'm not too handicapped by it. After a while I got used to it.
- As technology progresses, we go from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals.
- Master Chief is only a letter away from Master Chef. Halo anyone?
- KFC! The only thing missing is U!
- If I were stuck on some deserted island for eternity, I would make a girl out of coconuts. Even though it is highly likely she'll want to be 'just friends'.
- Everyone needs goals. Even if they're goals such as "I'm gonna eat that ice cream if it kills me".
- People who go "people suck/change/'shouldn't be trusted'" suck. People means you too. Besides, acting like every person you meet is an axe murderer is just lame. I usually ask people and they say no, they haven't murdered any axes recently. But I guess it would bode well for me only if I was an axe. All that from the note "emo, axe murderer".
- And then there's this note for which I can't remember the explanation. "Making things is progress, boring. Life withoutu conflict is teh goal". I dunno. Maybe I tend to go all existential on my phone's ass when I'm half asleep.
Well, there.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Bleh...
Anyway,
Life's messed up. I don't know how the hell it happened, but it is. What triggered this onslaught of insecurity, you ask? Well, yeah, I'm usually the least depressed/moody guy in a group, and I'm about as pro-emo hunting as you can get, but damn, something's up. It all started in the bus yesterday, as I was heading home with a shiny new video card for my PC when "leaving Town" started to play. That cow Dexter Freebish set off a particularly angsty string of thought in my mind, one I thought I'd banished long ago. It was probably sitting in a corner writing bad poetry or something... Either way, it got me thinking. What am I gonna do next? Why oh why have I wasted away my entire school life? When am I gonna stop working and DO something? Why did I not shout out the name of that girl I really liked who I thought passed me on the street earlier in the day? Why are sheep smelly?
Then, as usual god decided to throw a bolt of lightning at me and started playing "Graduation Song". Eventually after a bit of mulling over meeting up with friends more often, I got back to relative normalcy.
Anyway, that's it. Feels good to get that out of my head and onto this... thing.
...Now, me off to dl "A life of Saturdays"
Friday, September 12, 2008
Nothing, Living on "Teh Edge" and Obama
And it's tiring. I didn't realize how hard it is to just do nothing for weeks. Yes, it takes effort to do nothing. That's why they call it "Actively doing nothing".
Anyway, my mother's not home for two weeks, so most meals are now improvised. I had roti and chocolate sauce for breakfast today :/ Yes, tis a hard life, and my last journal entry read thus -
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Leaving Town
Anyway, I’m in the middle of my final exams now, and it feels… the same as before. Just hasn’t hit me that I’ll be leaving.
There will be lots of people I’ll never again see, and some whom will probably keep texting me incessantly till I die. So a big Screw You All! Going out to anybody I hate. All the others, I shall keep in touch. I’ll try. Okay I’ll finally add you people on facebook. Having just twenty odd friends on it gets pretty boring. And creepy.
I haven’t been posting much these days, not because of the lack of time due to exams but just general laziness. But thank you for thinking it was because of the former :D I hope to find more things to write about after I’m out of school.
And getting out of school will be pretty interesting. I just want to get my character certificate before my results show up and the rector decides “He was such a good boy” is a horrid mistake. Speaking of results, mine should be interesting. Watching through seasons four to eight of That 70’s Show didn’t do any good either. Neither does typing this thing in. But I have chemistry tomorrow, and nobody really likes chemistry.
Also, I will be looking for a job! Something along the lines of design. Go to thejester100.deviantart.com for samples.
Well, that’s it for now. Will post something later after these horrid examinations are over.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Ten things vs. Regular Post
Anyway,
1) Technology -
Although the past week has been a black one for most stuff around me. First my phone memory card goes bust, and then the one I buy to replace it turns out to be slightly incompatible, so I have to wait another week till they get a different brand down. Then I break the glass turntable in the microwave. Then my monitor stops working, so I’m stuck with a crummy 15-inch. Thoughts of sabotage entered my mind when the bus I was traveling in broke down in the middle of the road today.
2) Music -
I just ripped "The Flying Carpet". No, it's not the Aladdin soundtrack. Nice, relaxing music. Although I do push in the occasional Alter Bridge. Something unpleasant happened this last week in music. I copied off all the new music on my brother's mp3 player like I usually do, and was assailed by the likes of S Club 7 and NSync. Apparently, he had autofilled it with random tracks from his office.
3) Weird stuff, like have you ever noticed that you can’t lick your elbows?
4) Laughing -
Most recently, at the audience on the Tyra Show. Those people have been dragged over from a telemarketing show methinks. And considering that everyone who appears on the Tyra Show is either terribly maimed or nutty as a fruitcake, or both if you count Tyra, they appear to be what is scientifically called "Tasteless Bovines"
5) Messed up situations -
I was about 8 years old. And I was at a funeral. We were all gathered round the grave, some fifty-odd people. My cousin(6) and I were way at the back. Suddenly, he grabs my sleeve and points. I turn to see a skull, dug up by some dog and just showing out of the ground. We both start shouting “A skull! A skull!” not in panic, but out of sheer excitement. You can imagine what sort of reaction this caused in the adults. Each of them spun round and stared at us as if we had just murdered the poor guy. Two kids shouting out in joy about a dead guy’s bones is not something you particularly like to hear if your husband’s just passed away. Needless to say, our parents came and dragged us away, apologizing profusely for our “misconduct”.
6) Reading stuff -
But I already mentioned this in the earlier post.
7) Taking pictures of stuff -
I'm not sure if I'm qualified to call myself an "Amateur Photographer". I used to make money off it when I was in the school club, but now it's just regular random pictures of whatever is interesting. But by far the worst part is when relatives ask you to take pictures of various social events. Sometimes, that would be fine, but not when there's another professional guy there, jumping about like spider-man. Photographers are very much like lions. Not in that we pee on rocks, but that we're very territorial. If I walk into another guys turf, he will take me down, either by making my pictures look bad or resorting to the deadliest attack - laughing at my camera. Between his evil looks and the comments of relatives to the tune of "*giggle", "Ohh look who's taking pictures", and "Make sure you focus right this time" you sort of lose interest in your hobby.
8) Sarcasm -
"Someone who tries to peddle sarcasm as a higher form of wit". That's me. Probably because it's easier.
9) Strangely, Making stuff -
As in virtual things. Mostly in Cinema 4D and Photoshop. It's just fun when the bean man you made learns how to walk right. Or when you have the power to sadistically twist the limbs of your creation, and put it back the way it was again. Although it's no fun having to wait a few minutes for renders to complete...
10) Life -
The fact that we, and not fire breathing rabbits, were chosen to rule this earth, is great!
Although I must admit a different type of scourge, in the form of the fire-breathing feminist, is threatening civilization today. hehehe... Don't flame me, please(No pun intended). Just got too many e-mails with "How great is a woman" etc. in the subject line.
Like last time, I don't know anyone who hasn't been tagged already. Woe is me. I doubt this chain is goig to end because of me, so ciao for now!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
The Birds and Bees of Sri Lanka
How do people over here learn about procreation? 99% of the time, there is no 'talk' between parent and child. I for one just sort of picked up the gist of it from the many books lying around the house. Notably the 'Reader's Digest Home Medical Guide'. Actually, looking back now, I wonder why the thing had such vivid descriptions... :s Maybe even a few adults needed a reminder on exactly how it works. Or if my parents placed the book there in the first place, so I'd read it and not have to ask THEM!?
I'll freak out about my parent's intentions later...
Anyway, point is, most of us never really get any real info off our parents. So how Do we find out about this stuff? I did some (sketchy) research, and found that most just get the info from a friend, or a group of friends who piece together something from the scraps of information they've found out. Freaky, when you think of all the misleading things that could pop up from a bunch of 6th graders piecing together facts. At that stage they're likely to believe it if told that babies are made by Microsoft, when we all know that they come from Mars.
But the fact is, all of them get it right some time or the other, without any help from teachers or parents. Sure, there are some leftover beliefs floating around such as doing certain things making you go blind which refuse to bug off, but these are just peripheral to the Main Idea. And it's not just the functioning. We know about safety first. We know. But how? Why do we know this stuff? Students in the US are having sex-ed classes drilled into them from kindergarten, yet some of them are dumb as bricks when it comes to it. But yet here we are, a country in which the subject is shunned and kicked aside by a culture driven by prudish monks, where the closest education we get is "Life Education", and we still know. Weird shit...
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I against I
Situations like when you’ve got around an hour to waste on the web, and yet you don’t remember all the sites that you made a mental note of. None of what your friends told you, or you read in the paper is brought out. It’s like its playing games with you, dangling your memory just in front, but out of reach. The author of “xkcd” moans about how hard it is to forget, yet here I have it, brother. The human brain does not forget when you want it to. No, it is far too cunning a creature to do that. It knows everything you know. It IS you. So it just forgets the things you need most.
Situations like when you’re heads just about bursting with all manner of hormones, and your brain decides “Okay, forget all reason and let me just remove the locks on the ‘things you never say’ box”. All these years you manage to keep your cool and be the bigger person and exercise that thing called ‘Control’. Then you just lose it. Nothing. You've just let out everything you've managed to keep under wraps.
When I see people going on about "The wonders of the human brain", I feel a distinct need to throw a wet fish at him. Sure, I like my brain. I've become quite fond of it, you could say. But please, God, gimme a link to download the .pdf manual.
Friday, February 15, 2008
I have a Dream
Frankly, I, as most of the populace surely is by now, am indifferent to the war. Okay, so maybe there'll be an odd bomb or two but still, life goes on. People just don't give a horses posterior... You see, people can get used to more or less anything. Hell, if they can forgive the retailers for insane prices on anything from toothpaste to hand grenades, What's a war? I could live with a war. Now, no broadband, that's impossible, but war is... do-able. I see something wrong with this, but that's what we've come to.
But don't get me wrong, life's not a bed of roses either. It's got it's fair share of thorns ;-) For example, school seems to have taken on a "Hogwarts" like atmosphere towards the middle of the book. EVERYONE is checked, you can't hang about outside. The idea is "Get inside or bugger off home". Also, when you walk around, your mind starts wandering about all the places which can conceal a gift of C4 and ball bearings. Last Thursday, there was a bag lying on a seat in the bus I was in, and as expected, people got freaked, then finally discovered it only contained books. But yet, a few people just got off the bus. Maybe they thought it was a warning.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
How to look like a Fool
In ten easy steps.
How to look like a fool
Or at least a close enough resemblance for people to go "Oh my god! You look just like..." on the street.
This is what happened to me today, and I thought it was interesting enough to note down somewhere.
A true story
1) Wake up at 5 am with intent to get on web to check messages before 6 O'clock peak time and insane dial up prices and nagging parents. See pages load line by line. Gmail refuses to load. Then realize it's a holiday, whole day off peak. Bang head on table.
2) Get ready to go to friends' house, and walk out of the house with your earphone cable dangling about, making people look at you strangely. They think you're some kind of terrorist, and I swear one guy looked as if he was going to yell "Duwapan! Muu Wire eka adinne yanne!!!"...
3) Get on a bus from the front, loose grip on the rail and nearly fall on top of the wrinkly old woman in the front seat. Get up abruptly and make motions to recover poise.
4) Give up and smile ridiculously to cover up your shame at being so clumsy, especially when you're trying to portray the "Cool dude entering bus" moment.
5) Go sit at the back of the bus and smile nervously at the guy next to you.
6) Get off bus after brief ride to go get breakfast from someplace.
7) Eat a donut and a ham sandwich for breakfast.
8) Wait for bus. When it comes, stand next to it wondering whether to get on or not, owing to the slight crowd.
9) Get in at the last moment, bumping your head on the conductor's arm over the doorway.
10) Thankfully, no one is staring at you for this latest act of clumsiness. Then you have to ruin it by yet again hurtling into a group of people when the infernal driver decides it's time to play "Let's see who's not holding on to anything", and slams the pedal.
After this point, the journey was more or less eventless, but I constantly felt like someone was sniggering at me behind my back, and each time I saw a group of teenagers(male or female) talking, I'd go paranoid about the gits talking about how I behave...