The Ballad of Isaac Clarke

'omg, 8.5 on ign!' I go
love blossoms
extract, install
play.
disappointment. noob.
PC fuxxored up. virii.

--intermission--

clean, redo,
kaspersky is my friend
extract, install
play.
joy, shining through the wall of zombies
'lol i cn take it' purrs my radeon
all options high
shaders glisten at me
play.
empty corridor

--second intermission--

dark rooms
smooth, I like.
'gimme some action' barks my frisky gpu
enter zombies
'omg omg, tmi tmi!' cries my cpu
'single core', I mutter.
hack, hack, zombies
frames, less than 20, a second
'i want more', gpu
'i can't keep up', cpu 'stfu noob', gpu
'/kick cpu, gpu', grumbles memory
graaagh



So sounds the death knell for my old but graceful Prescott. Dead Space isn't all that fun when the zombies, who're usually pretty slow, do Neo-of-Matrix-fame like stunts.



Look here, we're still the same, even hundreds of years in the future. :D Though I have no idea what "Peng" is.

Space Strippers

Peng???