Thursday, January 29, 2009

Batten the hatches! Our Doom is here!

Batten the hatches! Our Doom is here!

That is, if local blogs are to be believed. Not war, cockroaches. It seems like there's always someone who chimes in to say how mighty, how great and powerful that creepy insect is. Us puny humans don't stand a chance against such a superior life form. The usual reason being that they can survive a nuclear fallout without a scratch or melt.

And then someone will talk about the great feats of endurance a cockroach went through on the way from the drainpipe to the shower. We humble meatbags cannot compare to the towering feat of evolution that is the cockroach. We will conveniently discard the fact that they are the size of the average toe.

So, Mr. Roach, you think you're so high and mighty? Well, we won't bend to your whims anymore! Though we might cringe at the thought of touching you with our slippers, we can still squash you like, well, a bug. How many roaches do you know who've assembled a nuclear warhead? Can they even SPELL nuclear warhead? Forget that, do they know what letters are? No, they're stupid insects! So what if they can shed their skins? We have GTA! Even better, everyone I know has a slipper! And last time I checked, that was the leading cause of death among roaches. What human do you know who would DIE from a slipper unless it was made of lead?

Roaches are stupid.

Will a roach realize I said they're stupid? No, because it's a dumbass. So stop treating them like a fire breathing leper colony or something.

*EDIT : Flinching bit removed due to author being continually pelted by various objects.


TheWhacksteR said...

*shudders at jerry's bravery*

he dissed the cockaroach!

Dee said...

I beg to differ. They survived millions of years on this earth, changing little. real survivors they are. :) Stupid? sho bout that?

Lady divine said...

your post made me laugh!
yes, mum says I'm a giant compared to that insect.. but they're just creepy and troublesome! sigh..can't help feeling what we feel sometimes!

and it's also supposed to be the cleanest insect in the world I think!

Jerry said...

But it is a lonely road I take...

Nah, they just have action and reaction. Mere basic efficiency. They're so simple it's easy to live.

Glad you had fun reading it. And yeah, I read something like that too, but if it's been in my drainpipe, there's no way in hell I'm letting it near me!

Sabby said...

*Throws slipper*

Did you flinch?! =)

lol @ Whack

Jerry said...



TheWhacksteR said...

i did

Delilah said...

*dumps sack of live roaches on jerry and hides slippers and bug spray can. jerry squeals like 5 year old girl*

tee hee:p

DeeCee said...

*throws bra*

hm.... did that work?

Jerry said...


And by squeal you mean roar, right? And by 5 year old girl it's male lion?

Nah, though now whacko's jumping at me trying to get at it.... O.o

mixedblessings89 said...


mixedblessings89 said...

Actually, :D

PS: I accosted my QTM teacher about whether or not a game of Tennis can be analysed using the Game Theory.


blackexists said...

he he - look at you, acting all brave! apparently the only advantage we have over them are the slippers and that they cant read.
and just imagine if they could.
lol... good one.

Jerry said...

You're quite nuts about tennis aren't you? ;)
Glad you like it.

Jerry said...

Well if they could, we'd all be roaches wouldn't we? :P

High Council of Roaches said...

Dear Mr. Jerry,

We are deeply hurt that you are calling us stupid. Please read our reply to you and all of your species here.

Thank you
High Council of Roaches

Jerry said...

I will reserve my comments for your post.

Paparé Boy said...

Uh... kinda off topic, but I recently had the (mis)fortune to accidentally consume a piece of cockroach wing, buried deep inside a bun I got from the office canteen.

I agree, they're a bunch dumbasses.

Jerry said...

I know. Do you ever see HUMANS get baked inside buns?