Friday, January 30, 2009

Re: A letter of response to the spate of Roach hate posts on the blogsphere, by the High Council of Roaches

Dear Roaches,

You are stupid. You have stimuli and response. If that's the only level of sophistication that can survive on this planet for millions of years, I don't WANT to.

See, nuclear warheads, among other things, are what we made with our weak, non-crawl out of our skin bodies. So till you sprout opposable thumbs and start making things like beer, music, religion and playstations, you still suck. Do you know what suck means? No, because all you can do is breathe.

So you survived a few million years. So did crocs. You don't see THEM going about sprouting superiority facts do you?

You know what? Without us, you wouldn't HAVE a nuclear fallout to survive. It's about time we moved out of your miniature shadow. We're off to space. Can you do that? No, cos you're stupid.

And when we DO get around to blowing up this goddamn planet, we'll make sure we put bug spray in each of those nukes!


P.S.- We would appreciate it if you would stop stealing our technology.

2 comments:

High Council of Roaches said...

Dear Mr. Jerry

Sadly you are still clinging on to a flimsy dream that humans are intelligent. Fine, if it makes you feel any better, then by all means cling to it. If the thought of your inventions make you feel superior then please do. As for us, we do not need such trivial things as beer, TV, music and playstations to entertain us. Watching your people go into hysterics and dance around like headless chickens at the mere sight of us is entertaining enough. It’s our national sport by the way. We like to call it, “scare the shit out of humans and get away without getting squished”.

You are right; WITHOUT YOU there would never be nuclear fallout. Please do go off into space. That would be wonderful. Then the planet can heal itself.

FYI, Crocs may have been around the same as us, but they are stupid. We can agree on that.

P.S It is not your technology to begin with… :P

Jerry said...

Trivial thins such as beer and tv's ar what w thriv on. If that makes us weak and unfi for this planet, so be it. We'll find another.

You can keep this one.

Maybe whn we leave you can go back to living off of things that die in swamps instead of the things we leave around for you. :P