Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Formal Apology to NB

I accept that you are much more intelligent than I tho-


I'm not fortunate enough to have as much restraint as some other bloggers. Sorry.

Looks like someone's got my pics off facebook. Now which of you fools accepted a friend request from a seemingly hot female circa-last month?

Neanderthal, Please go DIAF.

First of all, those are horrible pictures of me. But I examined my face in the mirror while shaving today and was reassured that I am still quite dashing. The moisturizer advanced formula for skin enhancement seems to be doing its bit. Also the plastic surgeons :P

*wipes a tear

*"He could've asked for better ones, the bastard"

Btw, DIAF is an acronym. Die, In, Fire, A - Put these words into order and you'll get the meaning. I'm quite confident that the cipher I've used on that is quite NB-proof. Sort of like idiot-proof but just a lot simpler. Now content that I have sent our resident retarded kid on yet another Google Adventure in which he might stumble across the forests of the Urban Dictionary, the post.

Dear One-who-is-yet-to-realize-his-retardation,

The only thing you have accomplished as far as I'm concerned is... nothing. Oh no, how could that be? Quick! To the starship to google another name! You also seem to be somehow connected to me by way of some misguided friend of mine. Copying my pics off facebook before I finally got round to changing the privacy settings on my skeletal profile was genius was it? I can't be arsed to go through each of my(limited number of) friends to seek out probable suspects since I actually have a life. But hey, like fallen said, you seem to have all the time in the world, you could do it for me. I'll give you a gig of porn? Sound like a good deal? Of course it is! What one handed typist would refuse such a deal eh? Also, fallen- he wouldn't know what to do with a time machine man, the guy would probably use it as a prop for his star trek shrine.

What I don't understand is, how I'm supposed to be an anonymous blogger when nearly every blogger I read knows my full name. Hell, more people call me Jerry than Gerald in real life. Surely publishing my full name in various posts constitutes non-anonymousness? After struggling with the vile serpents of your mother's basement, you might pull your head out of your ass long enough to notice We don't care. We know you're a fraud, you've spewed enough lies to fill three houses of parliament and you seem to have all the intelligence of a pedestal fan. At least a fan actually serves a use, rather than sitting at a PC generally making a dick of yourself on the blogosphere. Can you even turn your head from side to side while making a whirring noise? Scratch that, can you even give us your real name?

How does a '31 year old' act so retarded? Are you just some 13 year old who gets abused all day? Looks like you don't even go to school, judging from your posting, Mr. Jarabaraas 'Time is not of the essence' Bawa.

As for the rest of your 'points', don't make me laugh, ya schmuck. How does it feel to not amount to anything on the web either? The internet, home of those who pretend to be tough behind a monitor. If you can't make it here, you can't make it anywhere. Tough luck kiddo, try IRC. But be warned, it's full of people who actually know what 'tracing' means. That leaves... Oh yeah, the title.

Please go crawl into bed with Swine flu, should fit you perfectly,

Oh, this post was supposed to be Airtel, DIAF. But then this little vermin showed up. Will do that post later.


Anonymous said...

If you google the title of this name it shows up in blogcatalog under your real name. That's probably how he got it.

Jerry said...

Well either that or the numerous times I've mentioned my name in the blog itself.

Anonymous said...

Was it really necessary to use the word retarded? I'm giving you the
benefit of the doubt here but certainly you know that the word
retarded used as slang is extremely hurtful to people living with
special needs. Before I had a child with a disability, I pretty much was like you. I don't know if I used the word but I certainly didn't flinch when I heard it. What's the big deal, right? It is a huge deal to people who have cognitive challenges. They get what you are saying and they understand that you are mocking them, even if it's
unintentional.Anyway, thank you for hearing me out.

Jerry said...