Friday, June 5, 2009

A Question of Chivalry

Would you hit a girl? Stop looking at me like that. I didn't do nuthin'. Just wondering whether that whole thing about not hitting a lady applies what with all the feminazis and dykes around chipping away at it.

And as we all know, I have a stellar record with regard to women's rights.


But! I shall post an 'article' by my guest poster, Dr. Black Rapper,( MA, BS, YA, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH). Dr. Rapper is a freelance lecturer on sociology and has been heard by an audience of many millions. He is an expert on bitches.

Whence came this tradition of harming not a hair on a person of the female persuasion?
What? You think all black people talk like they've got a komodo dragon gnawing it's way down their throat? You female-dog buttock fair-skinned ones are all the same, mentally inept buttock those-who-procreate-with-the-female-parental-unit...

But that is besides the point. Through extensive study of the search engine variety, I came to the conclusion that the internet is indeed full of porn. You cannot innocently search for 'man banging wife' without being assaulted by content of a less than family friendly nature. So I just assumed that the notion came about in the distant past when women were considered all weak and shit. Lesser beings and whatnot. But has the story not changed now? It is fair to believe that most reasonable people are sans bias with regard to sexes.

So it follows that both men and women will be treated equally in all spheres of life. And one of these spheres is Mortal Kombat the act of expressing violence. All of us, except those who are strangely predisposed to the teachings of various religious figures or tiny bald men in lungis, will strike back at someone who has struck us. Or at least fend off attack in an almost-offensive kind of way. We try to disable the attacker, especially when the attacker is in a state of such boiling anger that global warming activists set up shop around him for heating up the planet. That is, anti-global warming activists, not the ones who are pro-'let's turn earth into a sauna'. But yes, most people would attack any attacker of the same sex.

But imagine if you were being attacked by a female. You being male, that is, since females attacking females just ends up in a shrieking mass of blurry fingernails rolling about on the floor. Somewhere along the line a camera will show up.

If a male is attacked by a female, he would, most likely, use as little force as possible. Only using the force necessary to keep the attacker at bay. I know I would. I cannot help it. It's just hard to get over that conditioning of "don't hit a girl". I would certainly not react in the same way as if a male was the the one doing the assaulting.

What say you, females? Let's face it, the average male is physically capable of overpowering the average female. So it follows that in most of these encounters, the male would come out on top. No, that is not supposed to imply something. Get your minds out of that disgusting gutter. Should the same treatment be meted out to males as well as females?


Gehan said...

brilliant, watson.. Brilliant! :D

yes, women want equal rights only when it suits them... some time ago i was last in a line at the atm and some girl joins behind me.. then she slowly tries to jump a place in front of me, smiling and what not..

i gave her the -_- look...

worked like a charm...


St. Fallen said...

it depends
if a girl slaps me and she had good reason to, I'll just take it and pretend it hurt.
if I know they're about to slap me and it's for no good reason, I'll stop them, and then run before they kick me in the nuts :P

Jerry said...

You what? :O
Why you chauvinist pig!

What about a karate chop?

St. Fallen said...

I don't know too many females who are really good at that, but I used to do karate, so I can block that too. though they'd still go for the nuts as usual, and jumping back doesn't always work against long female legs, especially with pointy shoes!!! :|

Jerry said...

But would YOU go offensive the same way you treat a dude?

Sabby said...

It's funny how you said 'What say you, females?' and its the males who responded. Hmmm...*clears throat* Nehooooo...

I am not a feminist. Yes, I can proudly say so because I think there are some stuff that males are better at and some that women are good at. We are not equal. You have ding dongs, we don't. Simply put.

So just because of that and because males are generally stronger (most), they should not hit a woman. Simple as that. It's wrong. On so many, many levels. =)

Jerry said...

It is not Dr. Black Rapper's fault that none of the females were brave enough to face the music :P

Also, care to explain why it is wrong?