Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The iMadness!

First of all, all you people with the "I ♥ my i[insert name of pointless overhyped apple "product" here]" bumper stickers can just move on and go read another post, or go back to polishing Steve Jobs' shoes.

I had a disagreement with a friend the other day, about the iPod. He said

"Everyone knows the iPod is the best Mp3 player out there"

Now, before I pick apart this sentence and show how tragically wrong that is, Let me just ask, "Who is this 'Everyone' ? " Is it the masses of unemployed fools in the Apple commercials that always seem to try and make fun of Microsoft? If so, go eat some more iCrap because they are probably the most pointless bunch of characters I've come across. Apparently, anyone who has an iPod is

a) Trendy
b) Cool
c) "Hip"

But in truth, if you analyse the commercials, they are

1) Unemployed
2) Artists who lie about all day listening to music
3) or 1 & 2

YOU ARE NOT COOL BECAUSE YOU HAVE AN iPOD. It is most probably the best testement to the number of stupid people on the planet. It's just a music player for chrissakes! Doesn't even have most of the features the other players have. But yet, there are hordes of the iPeople who think Apple invented the whole damn technology! I am ashamed to say, even in my place of work(well, school).

Look at their name, "Apple". Codeword for "Simpleton"? I am increasingly starting to think so after they released the iPhone(OMG!! What n original name!), in which you don't even have access to a basic file manager. And being the simple geniusus they are, they forgot the video recording function too. Yeah. Everyone says video is going to be the next major surge in the interenet after music, and here they go getting rid of the feature on their phone.
For an even more awesome review of the iPhone, visit The Best Page in the Universe:The iPhone

Yeah Apple, "Think Different". Sure has worked for the iMac.

And now, for the "Best player" thing. Has anyone of those Mac zealots ever even been to a "technology" site before? Of course not. Tech is for geeks. Whats inside our players is the magic harvested by Apple in their iPod farms in the Far East. Or even heard music from a different player? It may be hard, but come on, crawl out of Steve Jobs' ass for a second and come see if the air smells better in the outside world!

In short, iPodlovers(No, that wasn't a typo. If boylovers doesn't need a space, I don't see why this does.) can just shut up and get back under the rock they've been living under for the last gazillion years. Your player sucks, and the people who make your player suck. Live with it. Or, redeem yourself and get away from the herd of lame sheep and buy yourself a proper player and phone!


Chaar~Max said...

I know your pain... I feel for you... so tell me who denied you the IPod when you were young? Let me guess Santa didn't bring you one eh? :)

Mia said...

Are you alright,Jester?
You sound (very)annoyed. : )

the_jester said...

At the time I believed in Sante, Apple were still too busy trying to hire back Jobs from NeXT. And FYI, I would sell any Apple product I am given. Including the iPhone, iPod(Video, nano, shuffle, lame...) and any Mac Pro's. Oh, btw, Apple now uses Intel CPU's. "Think different"?
Anyway, I'm not in pain or anything :). Just wanted to get this written down so that when Judgement Day comes, I'll have written evidence that I did not follow Satan's ways.... ;)

Ummm.. Yeah. I think I'm alright... Probably annoyed by hearing news of the amazing iPhone. It's 3 things in one! If so, my PC's about 256 things in one...
Hey, that did sound annoyed! Must go read some mac-bashing cartoons.... ;-)

John said...

Oh c'mon the iPhone isn't so bad you know. Quite a good looking phone.......If you are a hillbilly. Nokia n95 rules baby!
peeved jester?