Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Future? I doubt it.

I was in class yesterday and just started wandering what it would be like if I was living in the future. Here's what I thought.

I'd be woken up in the morning by my "Time-Specific Alert device" or Alarm clock, With "In the Morning" by Razorlight blasted in my ear. Being lazy in the morning like most people, I switch it to snooze, and after a couple of minutes I get some sort of water substitute sprayed in my face to wake me, courtesy of the clock's "Aqueous" setting, set by my mother.

Trudge over to the sink and pour some tooth cleaning solution into my mouth, gargle and spit it, And am surprised to find that the bathroom door can't be opened because the nanobots in the solution thought the old pizza stuck between my teeth contained the plague, and hence quarantined me.

After overcoming the paranoid bots, I try my luck at shaving with my newly acquired Gillette Mach64 razor, which contains a 64-Bit processor to help me get rid of all those unwanted facial hairs. It just ends up nearly scalping me. And it says "You are not hairless yet". Well, back to the good 'ol Mach 3 then...

Eventually, I pick up my school laptop and go stand by the road and wait for the bus. My watch tells me the next one will be there in 12 minutes. So I decide to listen to some music on my 4G Zune (Not iPod ;-) ), Only to be told that my mother's set a restriction on it so I can't listen right before going to school. So I wait it out. Bus comes, and the RFID tag in my watch tells the bus to charge my account. Takes about 15 minutes to get to school, And I get off. No more getting on and off the bus before it stops these days :-( . I walk along the street, Kicking away the countless iPod's littering the streets, discarded by people who had seen the light(Heh heh). A cleaning drone with a Sony logo on it was cleaning the mess up.

On my way I pass a Metrocop with a big Apple logo plastered over the back of his head. He smiled at me and said, "Do you require any assistance in...[Short Pause]... Walking, Sir?". I reply in the negatory and he waves me off with "Hail Steve Jobs".(Why am I still thinking of apple?)

I get to school and someone goes "Thamuseta deepu gaana haduwada oi?!"(or, Did you make the sum I gave you?!)

At which point I wake up, Curse under my breath and go back to living in the past. Present, I mean.


P.S. - My new sig. Don't know where I can use it yet, though.


8 comments:

R said...

12 minutes for a bus? Does the RFID detector weigh it down..?

Azrael said...

Hey there jester, after a long time eh?
I thought there'd be no more school in the future, and all information you need can be downloaded to your brain with a single click he he :D

It looks like your getting the very best use of our education system :P

Mia said...

And I thought my dreams were unreal.
I would wake up to....
A voice activated robot cooking my meals.
System of ultra cleaning sensors installed in the bathroom keeps it hygienically and sparkling clean ----the shower, commode, vanity and the floor.
A robot that does all the long distance driving.

John said...

my God, you really are obsessed with nano tech aren't you? jabbering on about it at home and now the blog?! Well maybe you've found your career path. about time too.

NANOBOTS IN THE MOUTH!? What happens if they decide that your mouth is a cavern of infectious bacteria? heh he h heh

the_jester said...

@r
Weigh down the watch? No way! It's a teensy weensy itsy bitsy little thing.

@azrael
Well, That wouldn't be much fun would it? And I'd prefer not to have a direct link from my mind to, say, the gov's propaganda machine...

Yep. The very best!

@mia
Unreal? Most of this stuff is already possible, And the rest will be ready for commercial use in a other couple of years(Decades?).
Robots eh? I see you like to shirk off cleaning and stuff. ;-) heh heh.

@The other guy
I can't wait another 20+ years till my "career path" has developed enough round these parts.

Well, With programmers like you, It's certainly a possibility.

John said...

pfft, I'm a software developer. Nanobots are not developed using software. I think you have to engineer them is some specific way. hazy on the details. anyway all that is pointless! Alarms? in the future? pfah! Ever heard of Neural laces? (Ian Banks readers take note) Neural laces are the way to go. Remember sleep is for the weak.

the_jester said...

They have to be running SOME software to do something useful, Like clean your teeth or buy the groceries...

I'd prefer sleep.

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