Funny Man.

A sense of humor doesn’t work.


You’ve all heard it, people saying that their ideal partner is someone “funny”. If that were true, we should be a race of comedians by now. Instead, I find people who wouldn’t know a joke if it was slapped on their faces by Jet Lee. People aren’t looking for funny. They THINK they are. Yes, I think I’m funny. My ego cannot grow any larger. I admit it. Now that we have that out of the way, have you ever noticed how most people take in everything you say seriously? Even when it is so outrageous that anybody who believed it would not say it out loud, and instead wear a white hooded cape and gather with the rest of their group in the woods to talk about it. For example, I recently claimed that all feminists are bra burning armpit sniffers. I get a cold look and “Really? That’s what you think about the women’s lib movement?”. I give a nice, cheery “Yup, and the rest of ‘em are only fit to stay at home with the kids. Otherwise god would have given men mammaries! Har!”

To which I get the reply “Ooookaaaay…. I hope you don’t have any plans on getting married.”

Why is that the general comeback of nearly all females when someone says stuff like that? It assumes that our goal in life is to get hitched to some Nazi feminist. I’m eighteen for Chrissakes! I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow, let alone about marriage!

What is so hard to notice about sarcasm? Why do people keep thinking there are actually people who believe that stuff, and that they would pour it all out to them of all people? This applies to both genders.

Point is, people say they want humor. What they want is “Okay, so a priest and a gerbil walk into a bar…”

Pffft. Generalization is fun.