Monday, February 16, 2009

Lies 3.0 - Alone In The Dark

The Bachelor Thing

1. Try to find alcohol after 9.

2. Get fleeced.

3. Walk over to Pizza Hut, look across road for signs of Wander Vaal's Road. Find Wandevaath Place.

4. Walk.

5. Walk.

6. Avoid weird dude sitting outside his gate talking on phone.

7. Walk.

8. End of road. Railway tracks in front of me.

9. Screw the numbering...

Call Myprerogative. Don't hear the usual "Brother". He says turn right. So I turn right. Darkness. I remember Gehan :s . "Walk four steps forward"(Click the link. Seriously.). Take three slow steps into darkness. Then jump back a few meters. Cautiously approach again, moving along wall. Where are you when you're needed, Mr. fingers?!

By now I'm wondering what the plan is. My mind races and starts throwing up all sorts of possibilities from someone throwing a sack over my head to just a tap on the shoulder. So I settle on someone throwing a water balloon at me. What? It was the sea. Water. ???

Eventually I hear snatches of someone's voice on the phone and inquire further. In between being nearly run over by a train and doing a few pretend ninja style maneuvers over the track, I cross it. The track. Just a dark path between the trees ahead, so naturally I'm a bit apprehensive about entering it. Myprerog/whack says something like "I'll send someone to collect you".

Those words were like a knife cutting through the butter of my resolve. I remember all the things people, well a person, said. And some stuff people DIDN'T say. Get visions of some weird cult looking for a human sacrifice, a bunch of pedo's on the beach, even worse, what if they have BO!? I panic. Rush off into the trees before anybody shows up, see a dim light ahead.

Eventually go upto it and am greeted by some dude sitting at a table. "Jerry?" he asks. I was pondering saying no and running like hell, but meh. I decided to just give up and go sit. I see a female sitting across the table. Oh shit. Is it DC? I pull up various memories and start reeling through, wondering whether I've pulled any chauvinist pig numbers on her recently. She grins. I'm mortified. I look for sharp objects.

A few seconds later RSZ and whacko show up. Buuuttt, my head smoothed out after a while and we got down to just... whatever it was. Except of course that I had to mix up whack and RSZ's identities. The sneaky bastards...


Dee said...

"Rush off into the trees before anybody shows up"


What is wrong with you???


Jerry said...

What? What if one of em came at me with an axe or something?

Hiding in the bushes. It's the right thing to do.


gutterflower said...

oh my.
Drama, drama, drama.

:P :P

Sabby said...

Yes...of all the things that could possibly happen in dark alleys and all....BO is the worst!

Jerry said...

Gf - We didn't see YOU show your mug there either, miss I've-got-two-tongues-to-wave-at-people

Sabby - I know. Instant death.

TheWhacksteR said...

"I remember all the things people, well a person, said. And some stuff people DIDN'T say."

Djero djero seven, i think we need a couple of death squads over here, we've got a mole'

Charm Bracelet said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! Boys I tell you! and they say us girls are paranoid! Good Stuff!

Lady divine said...

hahaa.. such drama..:P

Jerry said...

Maybe the one that got away?

Glad you liked it. Was funh.

It's not called drama when it's with guys. It's called adventure.

myprerogative said...

And the story of Jerry the God is worthy of a entire post.... aint it Jerry??

myprerogative said...

wow!! Was F***ing hilarious.... don't think i've laughed so much in a long while!! Imagine the dude who was not Jerry.... ha ha Rofl

mixedblessings89 said...

:D :D :D

It's like I could see everything like you described it.
Now I want to know what each of you looks like.

Good stuff. :D

TheWhacksteR said...

you mean the one that flew out the cuckoos nest?

Spice said...

you truly are a clown aren't you!

realskullzero said...! u and the water balloons..hehe nice!

Scrumpulicious said...

But Jerry - you guys don't exactly come across as really "adventurous" guys!

Tell us the gossip!

Serendib_Isle said...

“Rush off into the trees before anybody shows up”

hahh ha ha!!! I told you once before you remind me of cartoons...

messiahofmadness said...

Eventually go upto it and am greeted by some dude sitting at a table. "Jerry?" he asks. I was pondering saying no and running like hell, but meh.


Found new people to meet up with now have you??? Fine! Forget the duckies!

Jerry said...

myP - Yeah, that's "Lies 4.0 - The Beach". It is currently at 3.82 Beta.
I think you had to BE THERE to totally get the thing.. :D

mb - You're welcome to join us next time :D Provided you provide travel and accommodation for us to get over there :P

whack - Nope. I accidentally shot that one. Yelled something like "Don't shoot!!! This is a black op!!!"... :/

spice - Why thank you :P But the makeup makes me itchy

rsz - I'm gonna bring a few along and get YOU next time, for claiming to be whack :P

scrump - Whaaat? Madame, I am deeply hurt by that! Many are the adventures each of us has undertaken, just look through our blog archives! I mean, wth?

SI - You did? I thought that was myP... :D

mom - The ducks don't do the night shift :P Besides, no meets recently. :/

TheWhacksteR said...

Right. So me and RSZ were out looking for you near the tracks feeling slightly guilty that we'd had you turning around in circles somewhere and YOU were hiding in the trees.

Needless to say, Posiedon was pretty pissed off

Jerry said...

Not so much hiding in them as following made-up directions. What was the worst that could happen? Get to the shore?

Poseidon had his chance. Now I'm taking him down.

The Unsilent said...

Aah The Misadventures of the Jerry.. we should totally meet up again soon =D can create a series

Jerry said...

Totally! :D
But I think even this one has one more post to go till it's completely drawn out... :D

TheWhacksteR said...

yeah one more at least.

youre forgetting Ansoff's matrix and the Airtight swimwear industry

Jerry said...

Crap. Totally forgot about those O.o

I don't even remember Ansoff's Matrix :s Why the hell were we talking about marketing?

TheWhacksteR said...

cos you brought up pool pregnancies

Jerry said...

Ahh! kkk


Thanks for the refresher

The Unsilent said...

dude i cant remember what i was there for.. i remember the religion of narcissism, the Margarita confusion =D thats all.. oh and i vaguely remember the airtight swimwear thing (but Whack, wasn't that at Jade's). shit :S

DeeCee said...

can u get preg in a pool??

anyway, CHILD...write the tag will u... liyapaaaannnnnn...


TheWhacksteR said...

but what im wondering is how THAT came up. the pregnancies i mean

Jerry said...

Unsilent - What margarita thing? :s

Dee - No, and wait. Tomorrow, hopefully.

Whacko - My suggestion that some dude or the other was born by Aphrodite getting prego'd by Some random greek god by bathing in the same bathwater. CUPID! Yes, him... I mean, Cupid was born that way.

TheWhacksteR said...

nah man, your confusing Orgasmically Fallen1! LOL! where is he anyway? hey ROTF??

ah yes cupid came up with when we were discussing how demented it must be do give burth to a little tyke carryin a bow and arrow.. the agony!

DeeCee said...


jerry see my neeeew post and refresh yon memory.

Jerry said...

Oh yeah! Mr. ROTFL. :D
He's been off for a while now I think... Maybe the open mic night shook him up some?

DeeCee - Goingg....